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spoenza

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spoenza's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
580 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20832) - you deserved it (234991)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131033) - you deserved it (7331)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112530) - you deserved it (15239)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106120) - you deserved it (12424)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1148786) - you deserved it (115508)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
505 comments

I agree, your life sucks (232065) - you deserved it (81187)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



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