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spnmemories's favorite FMLs
by jessica071509 / 04/24/2012 at 1:42am / United States (Arizona) / Animals
by caaarl / 04/19/2012 at 3:46pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML
by Anonymous / 04/07/2012 at 3:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I cleaned my computer screen for the first time in ages. When I turned it on a few hours later, I spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to figure out why the brightness was suddenly so painfully high. FML
by strokingitasitype / 04/07/2012 at 3:12pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Miscellaneous
by anal4me / 04/05/2012 at 4:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML
by woohoo420 / 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Deadman / 04/02/2012 at 9:37am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I had my first free night in months. I spent it doing homework and watching TV. I had set my Facebook status to say I was spending time with the boys from The Big Bang Theory, then fell asleep. I woke up later to an angry text from my boyfriend thinking I was cheating on him. FML
by BigBangCheater / 04/01/2012 at 6:08am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/31/2012 at 3:03am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by thatchick3333 / 03/08/2012 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML
by wtf dad / 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/12/2012 at 8:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I had to call AAA for the fifth time in two months. When the driver got out, I instantly recognized him. It was the same guy who helped me out all the previous occasions. When he saw me, he snorted and doubled over laughing. FML
by big steve / 02/11/2012 at 1:35pm / United States (Arizona) / Transportation
by lulu / 02/11/2012 at 5:19am / United States (Ohio) / Animals
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers… Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart.… Today, I went home after work with my best friend who I am also secretly in love with. We had a few…