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spnmemories's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML
by mm / 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom (Warrington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML
by BulldogHoops / 11/12/2012 at 12:12am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
by Spoilicious / 11/05/2012 at 10:58am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
by Tj Hunt / 11/04/2012 at 10:26pm / United States / Love
Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML
by whoreticulturalist / 10/27/2012 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Intimacy
by L / 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy
Today, I was babysitting four kids. I turned the TV on for them, and set the youngest on my lap. She started giggling and pointing at every single pimple I have, exclaiming "Boo-boo!" This went on for half an hour. FML
by Shiverice / 10/13/2012 at 7:22am / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by not the scalpel / 09/15/2012 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 5:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Iguana / 09/11/2012 at 10:35pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy
by desperategurl / 08/21/2012 at 4:39am / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML
by Damn / 06/05/2012 at 3:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by NoPrivacy / 04/26/2012 at 6:44am / United States / Work
Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML
by unfortunate / 04/25/2012 at 12:50am / Sweden / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out I have a kidney infection. Now I'm forced to drink at least 4 glasses of water before going to bed. I also have to be woken up every two hours to be told to, "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!" by my mother. FML
by hottygirl905 / 04/24/2012 at 7:50am / United States (Florida) / Health
- Today I discovered my first singular gray hair. I am 26 and I've known others to grey even earlier,… Today, I had a wet dream about a classmate. Now whenever I see her I get a raging erection. I have… Today, in the middle of the night I went to bathroom. As I got up my bed my girlfriend was talking…