splash69

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Offline (the 02/02/2016 at 7:08am)

splash69

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 694
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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splash69's page activity

Visits<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:40pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 5:45am<b>Nail7777</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 8:29pm<b>Miss_Chevious</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 10:53am<b>kaailin</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 9:07am<b>Quackadoodledoo</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 7:54am<b>sam882</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:22pm<b>lex1459</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 4:37am<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 10:48am<b>XPhoenixFire</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 9:08pm<b>blink_kid</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 7:44pm<b>mahovalia</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 9:07pm<b>sleepybb</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:06pm<b>sunpai</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 8:09pm<b>abbythemuffin</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 3:49pm<b>PinkieKeen</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 8:09am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 3:14am<b>katie_heny</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 5:30am

Fucked!<b>kaailin</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:08pm

splash69's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of splash69's badges

splash69's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend, who I've been in love with for nearly a decade, asked me to help him set up an online dating profile. During our 4-hour conversation, as he waded through the profiles, he complained that it was impossible for him to find a girl to have a meaningful conversation with. FML

by EosThorn / 10/01/2014 at 9:33pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Love

Today, I'm a college student working at Dollar Tree. The signs hanging every 10 ft, plastered on every box, every wall, every corner, say "Everything's $1." Someone asked me how much something was, because there was no price tag. This happens multiple times a day. FML

by E.B. / 06/26/2014 at 8:07pm / United States (Mississippi) / Work

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

by taintedlover / 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, I went to pick a penny off of the ground for good luck. Someone kneed me in the butt, I fell face first and broke my glasses. FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 5:43am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 5:18am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I decided to check out my school's quarterback's Twitter, since we have a class together. He wrote, "Dear girl in front of me, I thought you were pretty until you turned around." It was funny, until I realized the timestamp was when we have class together, and I sit in front of him. FML

by thatgirl247 / 09/11/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Love

Today , I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money saying its collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then uses his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and wins 500 dollars. The jackass wouldnt split it. FML

by AJShow80 / 04/13/2009 at 4:51am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend and I have been having an affair before I left so I decided not to tell him she was coming with me. We just got off the plane and got a bite to eat, he was waiting for me so he could propose, my best friend was standing next to me. FML

by C0olgirl / 04/03/2009 at 5:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

by coughandcold / 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy