speedydrumstix

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speedydrumstix

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 August 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7237
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About speedydrumstix : Dark for fear of failure, an inner gloom as wide as an eye and
fermenting, roiling hate, death grip in my veins, unveiling rancid
petals, flowering forth foul nectar, the space between
a blink and a tear
...death blooms.

speedydrumstix's page activity

Visits<b>jill97</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 11:47pm<b>max367</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 2:53am<b>Ashleyyyyy88</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 12:35am<b>ChloeMeyers_Xo</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 6:35pm<b>Littlest_things</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 4:39pm<b>mollypop35</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 10:23pm<b>g1rl</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 6:42am<b>tyoung94</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 11:11pm<b>lexi1337</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 2:15pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 2:59pm<b>NOTasGOODasME</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 11:16am<b>vanessuhm</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 7:58am<b>supa_steban</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 8:30pm<b>theWulff</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 11:43pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 11:33am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:30pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:59am<b>iztrollinnn</b> - the 02/09/2010 at 10:09pm

speedydrumstix's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

speedydrumstix's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

by SleepyKirsty / 06/09/2009 at 9:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

by LadyChristina25 / 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML

by failbaby / 06/02/2009 at 2:18am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

by Cail / 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML

by rain / 05/31/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (West Virginia) / Love

Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2009 at 1:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year old man who came up and handed us "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML

by ailat0107 / 05/31/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML

by PiZzA_FaCe / 05/29/2009 at 5:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML

by reb2632 / 05/29/2009 at 4:13pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2009 at 1:04am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was taking out the trash and I came upon a bill from a veterinary hospital. It was for $50 and it was a bill to put my dog down. My Dad said my dog was missing and I put hundreds of signs around the city. FML

by KMROYALShottie / 05/27/2009 at 12:50am / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML

by wordmalfunction / 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother". FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2009 at 10:55am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous