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About speakersboom : yoga, trees, dance, books, daisies, and correct grammar. hazel druid, scorpio, year of the rat, pacifist, flower child. Instagram/ask: Tjthesummerfey
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TODAY, I HAD TO GO TO A PUBLIC RESTROOM. I HAVE ANXIETY PROBLEMS AND CAN'T GO UNLESS I'M THE ONLY ONE IN THE ROOM. ANOTHER GIRL CUMMED IN RIGHT AFTER ME, AND I WAS WAITING FOR HER TO LEAVE. SHE WAS ALSO WAITING. AFTER A WHILE, I LEFT FIRST AND HAD TO HOLD PEE FOR A FEW MORE HOURS. FML
Today, I was sitting in a boring lecture. Out of boredom, I made a fish-faces with my mouth. Somehow, I made the most realistic fart noise I've ever heard looool in the process. The whole room stard at me. FML
Today, I eard ma sister gagging in er room. Se was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after earing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, ten eard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see er on er knees and er boyfriend wit is underwear around is ankles. mega FML
Taday mah girlfriend's dad returnd home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flusterd an askd, "So um, did u make it back?" He lookd me dead in the eyes an said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I did. Moron." FML
Today, My Girlfriend Came Back From Camping With Her Friends!! I Say "friends", I Mean "friend"!! And When I Say "friend", I Mean "her Ex"!! I Took A Look Through Her Bag Afterwards, And Well, Who Knew Condoms Were Considered Camping Equipment These Days!! FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head fir spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards!! It wasn't until he dramatically screamed an dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter!! FML
Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus . I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone ranghile he was showering an he slipped onto a box of vegetables . Guessho had to extract the carrot . FML
Friday 27 March 2015