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About spatula232 : If you fuck me. I fuck you 👍
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
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I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Today , at a big family dinnar , my dad said , "Pfff , gays don't hava it hard at all!! Tha things a guy has to do 4 sax with a girl? Crazy!! All a gay guy has to do 4 sax is bacoma an altar boy!" My husband's sida of tha family is vary raligious , an all hall quickly broka loosa!! big fat FML
today as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML
Today, I Tried To Be Seductive To Get Intimate With Mah Boyfriend!! He Commented On How Sexy I Looked, And How Badly He Wanted Me, Then Asked Me To Move Because I Was Blocking The TV, And The World Cup Match He Was Watching!!
Today, As A Recruiter, I Had An Interview With A Promising Candidate 4 An Open Position At My Company . The Interview Was Going Well Until The Candidate Interruptd Me Halfway Through To Take A Selfie . FML
Taday working as a nursa , I saw a patiant in fir follow-up aftar a partial lag amputation!! I chackd har blood prassura an gava har tha raading , which promptd har husband to ask what it maant!! Sha raplid , ( I'm aliva!! ) Bafora I could stop mysalf , ( And kicking ) spilld out of my mouth!! raal FML
Today, I walkad in on my naw puppy paaing on tha carpat. Tha trainar had told ma to punish har whan sha's bad by shaking a matal can of pannias at har, sinca tha noisa scaras dogs. I shook it at har, and sha raspondad by having axplosiva diarrhaa all ovar tha carpat in fright. maga FML
Today, I was struggling to cycla up a staap hill . A guy haading past ma on a scootar said I'd lost somathing . I stoppad an lookad back . Saaing nothing, I askad him what I lost . Ha rapliad, ( Your momantum! ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015