spastiksarcastic

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spastiksarcastic

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 July 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1888
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About spastiksarcastic : so much swag

spastiksarcastic's page activity

Visits<b>abattior</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 9:55pm<b>Rachmini</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 7:08pm<b>ballerinaaub</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 12:28am<b>Shiningstartp</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 3:58pm<b>LimeSharpie</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 1:21am<b>bitchwhore</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 4:01pm<b>profoundkisses</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 12:58pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 8:02pm<b>DingoCJ</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 12:08pm<b>Miss_Attitude96</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 1:31pm<b>B5B0N35</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 10:25pm<b>c00lsk8erboi</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 10:01pm<b>jangalianxi</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 2:30am<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/09/2012 at 11:00pm<b>BIGASSTITS</b> - the 02/22/2012 at 3:01am<b>mstangchck</b> - the 01/25/2012 at 2:28am<b>ChaosAngel17</b> - the 01/11/2012 at 11:07pm<b>glittercookies</b> - the 01/06/2012 at 1:35pm

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spastiksarcastic's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML

by me / 11/30/2011 at 1:43am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

by hitintheeye / 11/26/2011 at 10:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because her father, who abandoned her before she was born and just reentered her life, doesn't approve. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2011 at 3:16am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML

by notgoodenough / 11/25/2011 at 12:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, during my boyfriend's family reunion, I started my period but didn't have any tampons. I asked my boyfriend to ask his mom if she had any. I sat on the toilet waiting, then heard him loudly ask his whole family "Does anybody have a tampon my girlfriend can have?" FML

by Jessie / 11/25/2011 at 1:13am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at my local supermarket, a customer threw a turkey at me because we "should have bigger ones." FML

by Justforlolz / 11/24/2011 at 11:46am / United States (New York) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling without speaking for ages. This happens a lot. FML

by Jane / 11/24/2011 at 8:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, things were getting heated with my girlfriend, so I tried taking her shirt off. Slapping my hands away, she said, "I was only dating you to get my self-confidence up, I'm good now." FML

by Badab1ng / 11/24/2011 at 1:52am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I went past a bar. There were lots of drunk men outside telling me to come over so they could give me the night of my life. One of those men was my grandpa. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2011 at 5:58pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML

by cheated / 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for a year. To impress her, I popped a certain male enhancement supplement. Thirty minutes later I found out she was on her period. What a long night. FML

by johnnydoe6969 / 11/20/2011 at 6:51pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I learned that my roommate, the one in charge of the cooking, never washes her hands beforehand. According to her, it boosts her immune system. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2011 at 12:10pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my husband once again looking at half naked pictures of a friend of mine on Facebook. When I asked why he did it, he said "I was checking to see if they were still there." FML

by anonymous / 11/20/2011 at 6:31am / United States / Love

Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML

by John / 11/19/2011 at 12:50pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Miscellaneous