About spastiksarcastic : so much swag
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18194) - you deserved it (1670)
On 12/08/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by skidmark (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23143) - you deserved it (2617)
On 12/08/2011 at 5:37am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23143) - you deserved it (2617)
On 12/08/2011 at 5:37am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, after being yelled at by our boss because the office computer server has yet another virus, my co-worker and I did a bit of investigating. Apparently, the viruses aren't coming from client emails as we previously assumed. It seems that the problem is really our boss's porn addiction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25471) - you deserved it (1526)
On 12/07/2011 at 1:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28073) - you deserved it (4995)
On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my family took me to a steak house. I went for an eight minute bathroom break, coming back to an empty table. They ordered dessert, and left me the bill. I'm a vegetarian, and it's my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26637) - you deserved it (3024)
On 12/06/2011 at 5:20pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while at the laundry mat, an old man kept putting extra quarters in my dryer. I didn't realize until a while later what he'd done, just so he could keep watching me bend over to see how much time was left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20483) - you deserved it (3463)
On 12/06/2011 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27023) - you deserved it (2017)
On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7696) - you deserved it (49154)
On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34587) - you deserved it (7884)
On 12/05/2011 at 12:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29741) - you deserved it (3718)
On 12/04/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36941) - you deserved it (2822)
On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45084) - you deserved it (2146)
On 12/01/2011 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by sometingwong (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16054) - you deserved it (4645)
On 12/01/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by Hot Pants (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my dad announced to the whole family that we will be having a vegetarian dinner this Christmas to make my step-mum happy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25272) - you deserved it (3794)
On 11/30/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by BFH4Life (woman) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
