spastiksarcastic

Search for a member

spastiksarcastic

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 July 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2021
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About spastiksarcastic : so much swag

spastiksarcastic's page activity

Visits<b>abattior</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 9:55pm<b>Rachmini</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 7:08pm<b>ballerinaaub</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 12:28am<b>Shiningstartp</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 3:58pm<b>LimeSharpie</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 1:21am<b>bitchwhore</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 4:01pm<b>profoundkisses</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 12:58pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 8:02pm<b>DingoCJ</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 12:08pm<b>Miss_Attitude96</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 1:31pm<b>B5B0N35</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 10:25pm<b>c00lsk8erboi</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 10:01pm<b>jangalianxi</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 2:30am<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/09/2012 at 11:00pm<b>BIGASSTITS</b> - the 02/22/2012 at 3:01am<b>mstangchck</b> - the 01/25/2012 at 2:28am<b>ChaosAngel17</b> - the 01/11/2012 at 11:07pm<b>glittercookies</b> - the 01/06/2012 at 1:35pm

spastiksarcastic's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of spastiksarcastic's badges

spastiksarcastic's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

by thankzbabe / 01/04/2012 at 7:32am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent 4 hours cleaning my apartment. 2 minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML

by upsetandannoyed / 01/01/2012 at 12:41am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

by nickthetank / 12/31/2011 at 4:21am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

by KrissyBearr / 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML

by ikungfuyou / 12/27/2011 at 2:11am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

by ThinZ / 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

by Ryan / 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML

by Une Fille / 12/18/2011 at 12:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my mother hacked my Facebook and broke up with my boyfriend and pretended to be me. She told him if he ever talks to me again, she'll call the cops. FML

by NinjaWafflesx / 12/15/2011 at 10:20am / United States / Love

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML

by neednewdeoderant / 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML

by flowerchildd2 / 12/12/2011 at 6:17pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 6:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML

by Anonymousss95 / 12/10/2011 at 7:03am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I walked out of the store, car keys in hand, only to discover my car was missing. After a frantic search, I started to hyperventilate and a nearly had a full-blown panic attack. Then I remembered I walked to the store. I am an idiot. FML

by picklemonger / 12/08/2011 at 2:58pm / Canada / Transportation