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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 July 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2076
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About spastiksarcastic : so much swag

spastiksarcastic's page activity

Visits<b>abattior</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 9:55pm<b>Rachmini</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 7:08pm<b>ballerinaaub</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 12:28am<b>Shiningstartp</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 3:58pm<b>LimeSharpie</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 1:21am<b>bitchwhore</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 4:01pm<b>profoundkisses</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 12:58pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 8:02pm<b>DingoCJ</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 12:08pm<b>Miss_Attitude96</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 1:31pm<b>B5B0N35</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 10:25pm<b>c00lsk8erboi</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 10:01pm<b>jangalianxi</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 2:30am<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/09/2012 at 11:00pm<b>BIGASSTITS</b> - the 02/22/2012 at 3:01am<b>mstangchck</b> - the 01/25/2012 at 2:28am<b>ChaosAngel17</b> - the 01/11/2012 at 11:07pm<b>glittercookies</b> - the 01/06/2012 at 1:35pm

spastiksarcastic's FML badges

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spastiksarcastic's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML

by geeklove / 01/15/2012 at 10:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Geek

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

by joeshmoe / 01/15/2012 at 7:52am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2012 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

by shitttyyyday / 01/14/2012 at 2:47am / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

by haggisbowl / 01/14/2012 at 1:52am / United States / Intimacy

Today, inspired by my own relationship, I encouraged my best friend to go after the guy she likes. She did, and I'm now single. FML

by britt71411 / 01/13/2012 at 12:17pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML

by hannaaaahr / 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

by bunnyluver4545 / 01/11/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2012 at 10:30pm / Australia / Intimacy

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

by Danny / 01/07/2012 at 5:27am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2012 at 11:58am / United Kingdom (London) / Love

Today, after months of dating, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to take things to the next level. He told me that he couldn't have sex with me because of his religious beliefs. I would've been fine with this if it weren't for the fact that I know he and his family are all atheists. FML

by Anon / 01/04/2012 at 9:21pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had to cut short my New Year's resolution of going to the gym daily, when the meathead next to me dropped some heavy weights, which bounced and landed on my foot. I'm sitting at home in a cast. FML

by gimpy / 01/04/2012 at 11:55am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I had to ask my girlfriend to please stop telling me about her ex's penis. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 11:20am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy