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About spastiksarcastic : so much swag
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31424) - you deserved it (2272)
On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States
Today, my recent ex-girlfriend posted a photo of herself on Facebook. It was a picture of herself in the arms of a half-naked male stripper. She posted it on my wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8851) - you deserved it (1332)
On 01/22/2012 at 4:12am - love - by sisco2901 (man) - Slovakia (Nitra)
Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11367) - you deserved it (644)
On 01/22/2012 at 12:09am - kids - by thosedamnkids (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31541) - you deserved it (2547)
On 01/21/2012 at 8:25am - love - by addicted2v - United States (New York)
Today, I got fired. My coworker decided to imitate my voice, stand outside of my boss's office door, and say insulting things about his daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23734) - you deserved it (1410)
On 01/20/2012 at 7:13am - work - by XxJennJennXxX - United States
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22802) - you deserved it (3401)
On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom
Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17031) - you deserved it (3426)
On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6471) - you deserved it (1235)
On 01/17/2012 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Dooh (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, "You know, sometimes, you look like Kevin Spacey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5726) - you deserved it (906)
On 01/17/2012 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Libyan Arab Jamahiriya
Today, after over a year of lifestyle changes and a ritualistic exercise regime, I finally reached my goal weight. I excitedly told my boyfriend, and he responded, "Yeah, that's nice, but now your tits are tiny". FML
I agree, your life sucks (7639) - you deserved it (2413)
On 01/16/2012 at 8:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21798) - you deserved it (4675)
On 01/15/2012 at 10:30pm - love - by geeklove - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20799) - you deserved it (15862)
On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)
Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12187) - you deserved it (1071)
On 01/15/2012 at 1:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33156) - you deserved it (2574)
On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States
Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6292) - you deserved it (2023)
On 01/14/2012 at 1:52am - intimacy - by haggisbowl - United States
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