spank_my_toaster

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spank_my_toaster

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 November 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 857
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About spank_my_toaster : Fuck this :D

spank_my_toaster's page activity

Visits<b>zeginger</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 8:32am<b>DamnBailie</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 12:42pm<b>Fetuskicker666</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 10:12pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 7:53am<b>CyanideCyan</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 12:49pm<b>sarika</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 4:49pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 11:49pm<b>WubStep_</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 3:46pm<b>ToxicSilence</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 3:03pm<b>Chorizo606</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 1:02am<b>TheEliteShark69</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 3:37pm<b>honeybarbie12</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 10:55pm<b>KarlJ</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 9:16pm<b>i_lol_at_life</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 4:51pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 8:38pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:38am<b>chrissysweathear</b> - the 08/18/2010 at 6:21pm<b>ItsLeeBitches</b> - the 04/06/2010 at 1:15pm

spank_my_toaster's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

spank_my_toaster's favorite FMLs

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

by Blah / 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

by Oops / 01/14/2010 at 10:55am / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML

by ohdear / 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was waking up, I let out a huge morning fart. When I open my eyes, I realized that I was crashing at a friends place with four other people. Yep, they all heard. FML

by munnyfish / 11/07/2009 at 2:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML

by holy / 10/21/2009 at 5:03pm / United Kingdom (London) / Kids

Today, I was kneeling down at work to do some cleaning. My co-worker said, "Oh don't your knees hurt, kneeling like that for so long?" Without thinking how it sounded, I said, "Oh no, it's not a problem. I'm on my knees all the time." He's yet to stop hitting on me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/09/2009 at 2:43am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I got T-boned by a woman going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours while a tube was inserted into my collapsed lung. Upon waking up my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my leg hairs. FML

by robinhoood / 04/20/2009 at 1:53am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I went to the dentist. He asked me to lean my head closer to him so he could get a better look at my teeth. He was hard. FML

by rmb131 / 03/20/2009 at 12:33am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML

by Werner / 03/02/2009 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML

by Werner / 03/02/2009 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML

by Werner / 03/02/2009 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML

by Werner / 03/02/2009 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML

by Werner / 03/02/2009 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to go get a haircut and I asked how much it was for a haircut, shampoo, and a blow job. I meant to say blow dry. FML

by Stixchop / 02/26/2009 at 6:21pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous