About sp4ksu : Killing it. Softly.
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Mobility
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Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26982) - you deserved it (4968)
On 03/22/2013 at 3:15pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Calabria)
Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36329) - you deserved it (7346)
On 03/10/2013 at 9:40am - intimacy - by cremyfrozentreat - United States (Florida)
Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14231) - you deserved it (49640)
On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43268) - you deserved it (11072)
On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States
Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36082) - you deserved it (3630)
On 03/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nopanties (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38122) - you deserved it (4756)
On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I got married. About five minutes after I got my huge wedding dress on, I had to pee. It took three people to help me not pee on my dress, and my bridesmaids took pictures. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19739) - you deserved it (7391)
On 11/12/2011 at 3:30am - love - by summinay - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34639) - you deserved it (6933)
On 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm - intimacy - by Katrina (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, at my volleyball tournament I was extremely pumped to start playing so I went to take my sweats off and everybody began to stare at me then I looked down to come to realize I had no spandex on, just a thong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6581) - you deserved it (18793)
On 02/27/2010 at 8:11pm - misc - by volleyballgirl - United States
Today, feeling like I needed to relax, I ordered room service at my hotel. When I was finished I went to put the tray outside not thinking about needing a key to get back in. I locked myself out of my room wearing happy face underwear in a $250 a night hotel. I had to go to the lobby to get a new key. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6011) - you deserved it (15508)
On 11/16/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was DJing for a church event where I was stationed in the middle and everyone was sitting behind me. I walked over to get something to drink and eat and come back with glaring looks. My screensaver had came on with pictures of my naked girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5482) - you deserved it (34642)
On 11/01/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by terry (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his friends for the first time. My boyfriend went into the kitchen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking for him. I discovered his friend holding two melons to his chest, mid explanation on how they look exactly like mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25849) - you deserved it (4826)
On 09/20/2009 at 8:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 20 May 2013
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