About soysauce1208 : not a creeper.just a keeper:).go ahead and message me.oohhh yeahhh, tee-hee. :))
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42675) - you deserved it (4536)
On 02/24/2009 at 3:34pm - health - by Sick (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (183053) - you deserved it (61954)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker "turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you". I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28919) - you deserved it (3988)
On 02/15/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (538568) - you deserved it (38318)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29847) - you deserved it (49088)
On 02/05/2009 at 9:09am - intimacy - by ruffrider (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56029) - you deserved it (19892)
On 02/05/2009 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I am staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31420) - you deserved it (770)
On 02/01/2009 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by epistaxis - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I walked in on my Mum and Dad having sex and didn't even realize what they were doing until she shouted at him to go harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35756) - you deserved it (4076)
On 02/01/2009 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by Bear - United Kingdom (Reading)
Today, I was at a bar in Canada and was really hitting it off with a girl. She asked how big my junk was and I told her in inches... They use centimeters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17515) - you deserved it (33237)
On 01/29/2009 at 10:32am - intimacy - by KD - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50296) - you deserved it (6943)
On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says "What's for dinner?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (4380) - you deserved it (15112)
On 01/22/2009 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7854) - you deserved it (34833)
On 01/14/2009 at 3:49am - intimacy - by diddlysquat - United Kingdom (Wakefield)
Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43248) - you deserved it (5982)
On 01/12/2009 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Poopy - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23119) - you deserved it (5882)
On 01/12/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by LiLGeek - United States (California)
Today, I was browsing the internet and I found a picture of my girlfriend on uglypeople.com. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35246) - you deserved it (5014)
On 12/21/2008 at 8:44pm - intimacy - by HeatoN - Germany (Berlin)
Monday 17 June 2013
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