soysauce1208

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Offline (the 01/14/2014 at 7:09am)

soysauce1208

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 December 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5833
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About soysauce1208 : not a creeper.just a keeper:).go ahead and message me.oohhh yeahhh, tee-hee. :))

soysauce1208's page activity

Visits<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 12:57pm<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:48am<b>figgity83</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 5:56am<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 9:32pm<b>efelsh</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 10:23pm<b>theWulff</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 10:57pm<b>cjack188</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 9:19am<b>MakinMills</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 5:11pm<b>CharDee</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 11:48pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 5:32pm<b>Rob2342</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 4:11pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 11:46pm<b>miwako</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 11:44am<b>Priyaroshni</b> - the 12/17/2012 at 9:48pm<b>SpartanMerc</b> - the 12/17/2012 at 11:02am<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/07/2012 at 4:01pm<b>hellokitty3</b> - the 09/27/2011 at 3:19pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 09/26/2011 at 3:33pm

soysauce1208's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of soysauce1208's badges

soysauce1208's favorite FMLs

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

by KAAALIS / 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML

by SalonGirl / 03/10/2009 at 7:55am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML

by tamponmayhem / 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible so I spoke to my window thinking she couldn't hear me "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML

by Smash_Mouth / 03/08/2009 at 12:36am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a blind date that my sister had set up. When I arrived at the coffeeshop, I approached a man waiting by the counter, asking if his name was Tim (my date's name). He looked at me and said no and then left with a drink clearly labeled "Tim" in bold letters. FML

by oprahahaha / 03/01/2009 at 11:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend across the street. I was walking with a girl whom I'd been hooking up with and wanted to make my ex-girlfriend jealous. I kissed her and she immediately smacked me. I got a "ha-ha" text message from my ex. FML

by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML

by asdfghjkl_12 / 02/24/2009 at 11:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML

by Sick / 02/24/2009 at 3:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids