soysauce1208

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Offline (the 01/14/2014 at 7:09am)

soysauce1208

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 December 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5534
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About soysauce1208 : not a creeper.just a keeper:).go ahead and message me.oohhh yeahhh, tee-hee. :))

soysauce1208's page activity

Visits<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 12:57pm<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:48am<b>figgity83</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 5:56am<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 9:32pm<b>efelsh</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 10:23pm<b>theWulff</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 10:57pm<b>cjack188</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 9:19am<b>MakinMills</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 5:11pm<b>CharDee</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 11:48pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 5:32pm<b>Rob2342</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 4:11pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 11:46pm<b>miwako</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 11:44am<b>Priyaroshni</b> - the 12/17/2012 at 9:48pm<b>SpartanMerc</b> - the 12/17/2012 at 11:02am<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/07/2012 at 4:01pm<b>hellokitty3</b> - the 09/27/2011 at 3:19pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 09/26/2011 at 3:33pm

soysauce1208's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of soysauce1208's badges

soysauce1208's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

by eeh / 05/07/2009 at 10:45am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 5:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family threw me a surprise party. I was so surprised I punched my mom in the face when she screamed SURPRISE! FML

by Em / 04/30/2009 at 12:45pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

by anonymiss / 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was volunteering at the hospital. This lady was calling the Nurses' Station, and I had to go see what she wanted. When I asked her what she needed, she mumbled something. As I leaned in closer to hear what she was saying, she threw up all over my face. Apparently, she was nauseous. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2009 at 3:41pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML

by thisblows / 04/11/2009 at 4:42pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2009 at 1:15pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML

by ShamedJP / 04/03/2009 at 6:05pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

by nic / 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Health