About soysauce1208 : not a creeper.just a keeper:).go ahead and message me.oohhh yeahhh, tee-hee. :))
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41045) - you deserved it (6572)
On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31796) - you deserved it (6153)
On 01/04/2011 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about our new year's resolutions. I started telling him that I wanted to lose some weight. He interrupted me, saying, "Yeah yeah, we all know you're fat, whatever." He then went on a 30 minute speech about how he'd really like to take more pictures of his cat in 2011. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20652) - you deserved it (4434)
On 01/04/2011 at 2:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I took my daughter to the library instead of the pool. I sat her on the counter and, while I reached for my library card, she turned to the librarian and said "We didn't go to the pool today because Mum has hairy legs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18885) - you deserved it (9022)
On 01/04/2011 at 3:05am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend told me there was a tick on my shoulder and that he would remove it so I shouldn't worry. After about a half hour, lots of blood, and a ton of pain, he told me it was just a mole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24119) - you deserved it (3440)
On 01/03/2011 at 2:50pm - health - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, it was my first day back to school after break. I wasn't feeling well, but I decided to go anyway. I threw up in the hallway and shit myself at the same time. I waited in the office for my dad to come and get me for almost an hour while wearing dirty underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25337) - you deserved it (3601)
On 01/03/2011 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I lost my virginity, I think. Does it still count if she left halfway through, laughing? FML
I agree, your life sucks (41492) - you deserved it (7956)
On 01/03/2011 at 6:40am - intimacy - by Username -
Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30927) - you deserved it (5379)
On 12/30/2010 at 2:14am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my friend compared my hair color to hers. Also, she braided my hair (two pieces) with hers (one piece). I asked her why and she finally broke down and told me. She has lice and didn't want to be the only one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46754) - you deserved it (3238)
On 12/26/2010 at 3:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28864) - you deserved it (3492)
On 12/25/2010 at 2:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, my brother asked if he could borrow my razor, since he recently hit puberty and wanted to have a shave. I decided to be nice and let him. When he returned it half an hour later, I couldn't help but notice his facial hair was untouched. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29006) - you deserved it (5715)
On 12/25/2010 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question". Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27547) - you deserved it (5322)
On 12/24/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by snoozerlooser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32615) - you deserved it (2441)
On 12/24/2010 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsoclean (man) - United States (California)
Today, my 14 year-old son sent a broadcast on my blackberry saying ''I'm a young gay man looking for some fun!'' to all my contacts as a joke. What he didn't know was that it's my work phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27911) - you deserved it (3854)
On 12/21/2010 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, an attractive guy told me he wanted to get to know me and see me again. When I told my boyfriend, in hopes of stirring up some jealousy, he said "he'll regret it when he finds out what you're like in bed, trust me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17006) - you deserved it (28728)
On 12/21/2010 at 4:38am - intimacy - by fail (woman) - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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