About soysauce1208 : not a creeper.just a keeper:).go ahead and message me.oohhh yeahhh, tee-hee. :))
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, feeling tired, I snuck one of my wife's pills that she claims gives her super energy. I later found out it was our son's placenta, grounded up and made into capsules. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30049) - you deserved it (9632)
On 04/01/2013 at 12:49am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31855) - you deserved it (4581)
On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36275) - you deserved it (2252)
On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)
Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18599) - you deserved it (33975)
On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7364) - you deserved it (50206)
On 12/09/2012 at 11:57am - intimacy - by SamWGovan (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36145) - you deserved it (3828)
On 12/20/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Pimpleeater (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33811) - you deserved it (2171)
On 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by neednewdeoderant - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40967) - you deserved it (5770)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40175) - you deserved it (2607)
On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28979) - you deserved it (13397)
On 12/07/2011 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28077) - you deserved it (4995)
On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29742) - you deserved it (3718)
On 12/04/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26553) - you deserved it (4028)
On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24472) - you deserved it (2852)
On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29385) - you deserved it (5243)
On 11/16/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by halloweed (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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