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Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11650) - you deserved it (1064)
On 08/31/2012 at 7:40pm - misc - by what.....? (woman) - United States
Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35340) - you deserved it (623)
On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States
Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13577) - you deserved it (21486)
On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23202) - you deserved it (4128)
On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27518) - you deserved it (6169)
On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13924) - you deserved it (37210)
On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was fooling around a bit with my girlfriend while cooking dinner when she said, "Don't get too excited, I want to watch The Princess and the Frog tonight." I just got cockblocked by a Disney movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27164) - you deserved it (5037)
On 11/12/2010 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by roberto (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)
Today, I came back from a week long class trip. My mother took it upon herself to replace my bed sheets and clean my room. Apparently, she found a note under my mattress from my ex-boyfriend. It said "For all you future dudes, Connor was here first!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25078) - you deserved it (7191)
On 04/05/2010 at 3:32am - intimacy - by FASHlONABLE - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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