sourskittlez

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sourskittlez

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 February 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1362
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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sourskittlez's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:52pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/01/2009 at 4:40pm

sourskittlez's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

sourskittlez's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

by Cail / 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked out one of the girls that hangs out in my group of friends (the same group I have been hanging out for three years). She stared at me for a couple of seconds then said " who the hell are you?" FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2009 at 9:04am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML

by satanlovesme / 05/30/2009 at 7:22pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a barbecue and noticed a girl that I had be interested in. When I walked up to ask how she was doing I noticed she had some BBQ sauce on her face. Jokingly I licked my thumb and reach to remove it. It turned out to be a scab from a pimple she had popped earlier. FML

by eayers2689 / 05/30/2009 at 12:19pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting under a tree at a park. The dirt felt a little damp, so I assumed it was dew from the night. A homeless man walks over and asks me to move, then starts to pee under the tree, followed by another man. I was sitting in their bathroom. FML

by Wade / 05/29/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML

by PiZzA_FaCe / 05/29/2009 at 5:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, my son and I were on an airplane playing "I Spy" to pass the time. The game went back and forth a few times when my son said, "I spy something yellow." After pointing out numerous yellow objects on the plane I gave up. He said, "Daddy! It's your teeth!" FML

by WTF / 04/22/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 3:18am / Canada (British Columbia) / Geek

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend of one year - "why is someone as smart, funny and as handsome as you with someone like me?" he replied - "opposites attract." FML

by sprocket / 02/28/2009 at 1:55pm / Hong Kong / Love

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

by Noname / 02/15/2009 at 7:33pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

by Noname / 02/04/2009 at 6:23am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

by stellarshaun / 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my first (and only true) date ended with the girl saying "Thanks for dinner, I was hungry - and oh, by the way, I'm a lesbian". FML

by / 12/30/2008 at 10:21pm / Love