souperdeuper

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souperdeuper

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  • Number of visits : 2490
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 12 posted

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souperdeuper's favorite FMLs

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

by Artic / 04/12/2011 at 12:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

by ILiveWithMorons / 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML

by Sid / 04/09/2011 at 8:58pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I finally confessed my feelings to my long time crush. He was the only one I've been able to muster up the courage to open up to. He replied "lmao" and hasn't texted back since. FML

by notfunny / 04/08/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, while making my son lunch, he pooped, took off his diaper, stepped in it, and then climbed to the gate to call for me. When I arrived, he had a big smile on his face and exclaimed, "Look!" Shit footprints were everywhere. FML

by heathersmorin / 04/08/2011 at 3:18pm / United States (New York) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

by failure / 04/08/2011 at 1:24am / Intimacy

Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML

by Hanna / 04/03/2011 at 1:55pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

by paige / 03/31/2011 at 11:18pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

by Username / 03/31/2011 at 3:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

by dickface / 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend's mother screamed at me for half an hour, calling me a slut because she found a black lacy thong in my boyfriend's bed. I didn't have the heart to tell her it wasn't mine. FML

by slut / 07/01/2010 at 9:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that while getting your hair cut, you should say 'yes' or 'no', instead of nodding your head. FML

by Username / 07/01/2010 at 12:55am / Miscellaneous

Today, my aunt and I wanted to do something nice. So we made cookies for a local nursing home. After tasting them, nobody ate any. FML

by anonymous / 06/30/2010 at 12:05am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my youngest son thought that RedBull actually gave him wings. What it actually gave him was a trip to the ER and 7 stitches. It also gave me a meeting with social services. FML

by DaddyZ / 06/27/2010 at 9:30am / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML

by PTKFML / 07/26/2009 at 12:37am / United States / Intimacy