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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 November 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1034
  • Number of comments : 156
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About soundfilter : Hi, my name is Ryan and I enjoy posting witty comments on FML. If people find them funny, that's always a bonus. My low self-esteem always thanks the people who thumb them up. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go cry for an hour because one of my comments got a -3.

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100 kick ass comments

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soundfilter's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a man dancing to a Britney Spears song in his Volkswagen Beetle. I started laughing hysterically until he got out. He was huge. I was stuck in traffic. FML

#17919835
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11505) - you deserved it (31288)

On 10/06/2011 at 1:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home from school and found my mother singing along to her latest investment, a compilation CD filled with heavy metal covers of ABBA classics. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML

#17916537
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12999) - you deserved it (25371)

On 10/05/2011 at 11:59pm - health - by pixiebubz - Australia

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

#17911621
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25294) - you deserved it (19947)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Beeisc00l - Reserved

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

#17906295
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36169) - you deserved it (10961)

On 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I saw a girl wearing a Nirvana shirt. Since Nirvana has been my favorite band for a long time, I tried striking up a conversation with her. Turns out she doesn't even listen to them, and only bought the shirt because she "liked the smiley face." FML

#17902155
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29260) - you deserved it (4907)

On 10/04/2011 at 4:57am - misc - by storksleuth (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML

#17901158
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26121) - you deserved it (3106)

On 10/04/2011 at 12:48am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML

#17894609
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25939) - you deserved it (5173)

On 10/03/2011 at 8:37am - misc - by Mike Polk - United States

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32827) - you deserved it (9219)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML

#17874852
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29689) - you deserved it (2932)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:55pm - kids - by jesus christ - United States

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

#17854622
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31151) - you deserved it (5635)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

Today, the shy girl in my class decided to bring a cake to share with everyone, since it was her birthday. Excited about the cake, I got everybody to sing "happy birthday" for her, only to realize too late that nobody in the class know her name, myself included. FML

#17801637
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11599) - you deserved it (39511)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by mortenp - United States (Maryland)

Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML

#17786349
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31839) - you deserved it (8198)

On 09/20/2011 at 4:25am - intimacy - by Alexandra (woman) - Lebanon

Today, while I was working at the golf course, two kids stole a golf cart and pulled a snowboard behind it. When I tried to stop them, they ran me over. FML

#17777844
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23193) - you deserved it (3652)

On 09/19/2011 at 1:09am - work - by Branman2480 - United States (New York)



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