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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 November 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1019
  • Number of comments : 156
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About soundfilter : Hi, my name is Ryan and I enjoy posting witty comments on FML. If people find them funny, that's always a bonus. My low self-esteem always thanks the people who thumb them up. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go cry for an hour because one of my comments got a -3.

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100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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soundfilter's favorite FMLs

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

#18242868
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30883) - you deserved it (4169)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML

#18216431
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27935) - you deserved it (7336)

On 11/11/2011 at 3:42am - health - by devinchi (man) - United States

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

#18134142
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31251) - you deserved it (14662)

On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother if I could use her Kleenex tissues. I found out too late that they were Vicks vapor rub tissues. My crotch has been burning for the last half hour. FML

#18080795
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27087) - you deserved it (6758)

On 10/26/2011 at 2:35pm - health - by lanikai610 - United States

Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML

#18072512
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36104) - you deserved it (5657)

On 10/25/2011 at 2:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16932) - you deserved it (30722)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML

#18032391
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34752) - you deserved it (2944)

On 10/20/2011 at 5:18pm - love - by cmd102 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out my boss and some employees on my floor have bets placed on who can get the best picture of my ass. I found out when one of the pictures was accidentally sent to me. FML

#18022998
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28927) - you deserved it (3556)

On 10/19/2011 at 12:49pm - work - by ikickgingers - United States

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42194) - you deserved it (8544)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

#17996037
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35478) - you deserved it (4986)

On 10/16/2011 at 3:15am - work - by Unemployed - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30519) - you deserved it (5183) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

#17982026
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37568) - you deserved it (2918)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11746) - you deserved it (41634)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

#17965176
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24748) - you deserved it (3751)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:14am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34501) - you deserved it (24609)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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