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soulebelius

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soulebelius

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  • Number of visits : 2133
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

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soulebelius's favorite FMLs

Today, like always, my parents are such tightwads that they refused to turn the heating system on, despite the ball-freezing temperatures. I was so cold, I had to resort to warming my hands up over the toaster. FML

#17812468
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23975) - you deserved it (3257)

On 09/23/2011 at 10:33am - health - by freezingggg - Reserved

Today, desperate for my boyfriend to notice me for once, I started noisily masturbating while he was playing World of Warcraft. His response was to put his headphones on. FML

#17811635
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38264) - you deserved it (11340)

On 09/23/2011 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML

#17810986
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35070) - you deserved it (7646)

On 09/23/2011 at 2:22am - love - by drastech99 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

#17775098
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22149) - you deserved it (3090)

On 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm - love - by DeadScared (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

#17773811
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33271) - you deserved it (16781)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by ohgodwhy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found a note on the front door of my flat saying, "You left your keys in your garage door so I put them in your letter box". Guess where my letter box key is. FML

#17737867
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22962) - you deserved it (5976)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by steph - China

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

#17734128
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23032) - you deserved it (9317)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

#17706134
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15332) - you deserved it (49155)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

#17663371
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30208) - you deserved it (4049)

On 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by ironic driver - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. What was it over? He accused me of pronouncing MY name wrong. FML

#17658485
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30872) - you deserved it (3393)

On 09/04/2011 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

#17657818
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34760) - you deserved it (7127)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:16am - misc - by Pizza-less - United States (Washington)

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

#17642045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8649) - you deserved it (28425)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34860) - you deserved it (4396)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I was mugged by three guys. I fought back, and knocked one down. This made them angry, so they stole my clothes as well. FML

Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML

#17628790
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22393) - you deserved it (13131)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:02am - health - by Bigpoppa0507 - Canada



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