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soulebelius

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soulebelius

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  • Number of visits : 2171
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

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soulebelius's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandpa told my mom that he needs to rewrite his will soon. I jokingly said that I was going to be stinking rich when he passes away. He retorted that he's never forgiven me for rear-ending his car six years ago, and because of this, I'll never see a penny of his money. FML

#19989463
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7922) - you deserved it (28571)

On 07/28/2012 at 6:15pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I asked my best friend if he would do me the honour of becoming my son's godfather. He replied, "Um, that's just rude. You know I'm an atheist." Huh? FML

#19989164
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21665) - you deserved it (7523)

On 07/28/2012 at 2:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a homeless lady decided she needed to change underwear in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned around just in time to see her legs in the air with no undies on. I can never eat salami again. FML

#19988661
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20349) - you deserved it (2052)

On 07/28/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by em from Cali - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend, who is a fully-grown man, that making dinosaur noises in public is no longer acceptable. FML

#19932203
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18276) - you deserved it (6793)

On 07/13/2012 at 10:36am - misc - by shorty4 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

#19864989
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15123) - you deserved it (27048)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:47am - intimacy - by bob (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

#19822088
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27821) - you deserved it (4248)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I let my imbecile of a brother borrow my car. The keys to his car are now jammed into the ignition of mine. FML

#19821564
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20754) - you deserved it (4207)

On 06/20/2012 at 11:44pm - misc - by thesmartone - United States

Today, I let my imbecile of a brother borrow my car. The keys to his car are now jammed into the ignition of mine. FML

#19821564
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20754) - you deserved it (4207)

On 06/20/2012 at 11:44pm - misc - by thesmartone - United States

Today, I laughed when I shouldn't have and am probably fired. What happened? My boss asked me if birds were reptiles. I thought he was kidding. FML

#19817734
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25131) - you deserved it (3120)

On 06/20/2012 at 8:46am - work - by notanidiot - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband has decided to grow a mullet. FML

#19799986
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27098) - you deserved it (3255)

On 06/17/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by flyingpuppy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML

#19756840
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22483) - you deserved it (1966)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:54pm - love - by SprinklerDodger (man) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML

#19756804
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22738) - you deserved it (1697)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:44pm - kids - by TimeForAHairCut - United States (Oregon)

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

#19719748
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14976) - you deserved it (28402)

On 06/02/2012 at 6:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I were acting out a kinky scenario at home, where we'd met in a club and were having a one night stand. We ended up getting into a real argument about an imaginary girl in the club. I didn't have sex and we haven't spoken since. FML

#19687901
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10982) - you deserved it (30940)

On 05/27/2012 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was choosing my soft drink at a restaurant. The kid in front of me was too short to reach the lids so I handed him one. His mom rushed over, pried it out of his hands, threw it away, and yelled, "She's filthy, don't use that." FML



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