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soreness46

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soreness46

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  • Number of visits : 182
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soreness46's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. After telling her everything I'm going through, she looked at me and said "You know... every five years or so I get a case completely beyond my ability to help." I guess it's been five years. FML

#20963305
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44108) - you deserved it (2854)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:31pm - health - by elle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

#20952633
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35812) - you deserved it (3268)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by fuck you, bitchcake (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

#20941322
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39582) - you deserved it (3665)

On 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by #isthisthepoundkey? - United States (Florida)

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

#20937007
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43665) - you deserved it (2902)

On 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Greg (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43753) - you deserved it (4608)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I was mugged in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughed me out of the restroom. FML

#20928153
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34472) - you deserved it (3488)

On 10/20/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by the_lameo_geek (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51255) - you deserved it (3209)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom made fun of me because I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend, then bragged that at my age she was already pregnant with me. FML

#20918137
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52702) - you deserved it (2766)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm - misc - by roundtherose - United States (Alaska)

Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML

#20900036
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34294) - you deserved it (8248)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:10am - kids - by ahuman - United States

Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML

#20898640
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56279) - you deserved it (3750)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:08am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML

#20892490
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49275) - you deserved it (7063)

On 09/23/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by baddad (man) - United States

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

#20889651
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44339) - you deserved it (2758)

On 09/21/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was uninvited to a bachelorette party. I wouldn't really care, if the party hadn't been for me, ahead of my wedding tomorrow. FML

#20885218
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43513) - you deserved it (3381)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:52pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

#20884742
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17839) - you deserved it (88055)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:36am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

#20876988
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48737) - you deserved it (3861)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States



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