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sorcerersinger

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sorcerersinger
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 841
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 33 posted

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sorcerersinger's favorite FMLs

Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML

#15432254
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44739) - you deserved it (4264)

On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML

#15431465
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30055) - you deserved it (5664)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by jballer - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

#14954867
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13602) - you deserved it (54996)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML

Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!" in Michael Jackson's voice while having an orgasm. FML

#14820910
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26657) - you deserved it (5598)

On 02/03/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous -

Today, I accidentally drank my sister's science project. Her science project consisted of taking a glass of orange juice and putting maggots in it to see if they would live. I thought it was just pulp. FML

#14820384
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31576) - you deserved it (16930)

On 02/02/2011 at 11:46pm - misc - by Username -

Today, my mom duly informed me I'm the reason people have middle fingers. FML

#14413679
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20376) - you deserved it (4435)

On 12/31/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by edulover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend purposely makes me cry because it makes him feel special. FML

#14406610
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31629) - you deserved it (4547)

On 12/31/2010 at 6:11am - love - by ohemmgeee (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend purposely makes me cry because it makes him feel special. FML

#14406610
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31629) - you deserved it (4547)

On 12/31/2010 at 6:11am - love - by ohemmgeee (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if there's a reason why he has never gone down on me. He responded, "Your back door is too close to your front door and it creeps me out." FML

#14048087
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29929) - you deserved it (4454)

On 12/01/2010 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my six year old daughter discovered the family's pet rabbit in the basement freezer. The rabbit had died almost a year ago, and we'd stored it in the freezer, intending to bury it later. Here's to the trauma of losing the family pet. Twice. FML

#13815438
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6191) - you deserved it (36673)

On 11/12/2010 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I need to find a way to explain to my 5, 7 and 12 year old kids their uncle wants to become their aunt. FML

#13773002
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45163) - you deserved it (8491)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML

#13611565
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19838) - you deserved it (11257)

On 10/27/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my best friend was doing my hair. She got frustrated and exclaimed, "It won't stay!" I replied with, "Just like your mom!" It was then that I remembered her mom had just left her dad and moved out of the house to be with someone else. FML

#13485741
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6592) - you deserved it (45996)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Nobody - United States (Texas)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42386) - you deserved it (9534)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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