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sookie1's favorite FMLs
by Hugh_Jankles / 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by thatsjustlovely / 01/01/2010 at 3:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/31/2009 at 3:06am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2009 at 12:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love
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- Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded "yes". Then… Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking… Today, I was talking to a customer, when I choked on my spit. After I could breathe again I was so…