sometimessam

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Offline (the 09/04/2014 at 5:05am)

sometimessam

4Fucked!

sometimessamsometimessam
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4293
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About sometimessam : My name is Samantha and I live in the incredibly rainy part of the USA.

I love skiing, scuba diving, watching football, and reading random books.

sometimessam's page activity

Visits<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 11/22/2016 at 11:56am<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 2:55pm<b>dno79</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:08am<b>tiger820</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 10:30pm<b>heroqucas</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 5:19am<b>ncbb5</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 12:43pm<b>tumbleshay</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:47pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 11:15pm<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 9:27pm<b>sprigs_</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:56pm<b>bvbgleek</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 10:22pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:38pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 4:11am<b>Crazyjohnb</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 2:29pm<b>MiguelRojas</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 9:15am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 2:25am<b>tuxedoandex</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 11:07am<b>fmlnousername</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 11:54pm

Fucked!<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 3:27am<b>Stoppy23</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:07am<b>johnnyiskeenan</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 4:51am<b>adancer34</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 1:12am

sometimessam's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of sometimessam's badges

sometimessam's favorite FMLs

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year old woman, to tears. FML

by keelah / 06/27/2014 at 5:57pm / United States (Alabama) / Kids

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm / Spain (Comunidad Valenciana) / Animals

Today, I went to the hospital due to vomiting and abdominal pain, and they decided to fit me with an IV drip. It took several tries by two different people to get the cannula in. I feel like a human pin-cushion. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 1:32pm / Japan (Kanagawa) / Health

Today, my boss sent me some application forms to check over. After I spell-checked them and returned them, I found out they're going to be used to hire someone to replace me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 6:57am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I had a job interview where I was interrupted for using the word creative because there is "only one creator". FML

by IAMALITAHA / 06/27/2014 at 2:11am / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Work

Today, my dad made the local news. The business he owns is so run down and overgrown that it's officially a public health hazard. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2014 at 9:39pm / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, I'm a college student working at Dollar Tree. The signs hanging every 10 ft, plastered on every box, every wall, every corner, say "Everything's $1." Someone asked me how much something was, because there was no price tag. This happens multiple times a day. FML

by E.B. / 06/26/2014 at 8:07pm / United States (Mississippi) / Work

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

by Pisser / 06/26/2014 at 12:57am / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to marry me and be the father of my children. Five minutes later, he told me he wants to experience death. FML

by Anon / 06/26/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, while waiting for the start of a concert, the man behind me decided to pee into a cup. Then the cup tipped over and drained all down my leg. FML

by AllisonMegan98 / 06/25/2014 at 10:54pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend informed me of how I had really hurt his feelings. Apparently, not wanting to be sent a photo of his poop is hurtful. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2014 at 7:38pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love

Today, I picked up a co-worker from the airport. As she got in the car, she looked over at me and said, "I'm still not sleeping with you". This was our second conversation. The first is when she asked if I could pick her up from the airport. FML

by headdesk / 06/25/2014 at 1:41am / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, as a recruiter, I had an interview with a promising candidate for an open position at my company. The interview was going well until the candidate interrupted me halfway through to take a selfie. FML

by Sam / 06/25/2014 at 1:10am / United States (California) / Work