sometimessam

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Offline (the 09/04/2014 at 5:05am)

sometimessam

4Fucked!

sometimessamsometimessam
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3398
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About sometimessam : My name is Samantha and I live in the incredibly rainy part of the USA.

I love skiing, scuba diving, watching football, and reading random books.

sometimessam's page activity

Visits<b>dno79</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:08am<b>tiger820</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 10:30pm<b>heroqucas</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 5:19am<b>ncbb5</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 12:43pm<b>tumbleshay</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:47pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 11:15pm<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 9:27pm<b>sprigs_</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:56pm<b>bvbgleek</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 10:22pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:38pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 4:11am<b>Crazyjohnb</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 2:29pm<b>MiguelRojas</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 9:15am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 2:25am<b>tuxedoandex</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 11:07am<b>fmlnousername</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 11:54pm<b>plan_Z</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 2:28am<b>sarahashleyxo</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:25pm

Fucked!<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 3:27am<b>Stoppy23</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:07am<b>johnnyiskeenan</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 4:51am<b>adancer34</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 1:12am

sometimessam's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of sometimessam's badges

sometimessam's favorite FMLs

Today, my coworkers and I were comparing the backgrounds we have on our phones. They pretty much sum up our love lives; everyone else's background is a photo of their boyfriend or girlfriend. Mine's a photo of a lifeless desert. FML

by Fennec / 08/11/2014 at 3:05pm / Love

Today, I finally felt ready for intimacy with my boyfriend, and I sent him a sexy picture of myself topless. He texted back, "Ewwwww." FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2014 at 5:05pm / Israel / Intimacy

Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML

by freakedout / 08/08/2014 at 10:43am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

by pocketrocket90 / 08/08/2014 at 2:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I wore a tank top for the first time in a few years. It turned out even worse than the last time. I got insulted by several people over my "Never say never" upper chest tattoo, which I got years ago, before the words ever became associated with a certain douchy Canadian pop "singer". FML

by beaverfever / 08/06/2014 at 12:45pm / Poland (Zachodniopomorskie) / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother decided our bathroom needed a clock so he used an old DVD player. He put it on the edge of the tub. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2014 at 7:55am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Geek

Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML

by ew / 08/03/2014 at 2:49pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, while I was waiting for the train, a woman sat next to me. Her dog jumped up between us and I started petting it. She took this to mean we were now close enough for her to tell me in detail about her experience so far going through the menopause. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:36pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Transportation

Today, I should be spending my birthday with my boyfriend of 8 months. Instead he's visiting his ex, who's pregnant with a baby that "may or may not be" his. FML.

by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 11:13am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:16am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

by whoops / 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

by fatty magoo / 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, I asked my mom why nobody likes me. She reeled off about a dozen reasons. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2014 at 2:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML