someguyyouknew

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Offline (the 11/06/2014 at 1:07am)

someguyyouknew

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 26 February 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 488
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About someguyyouknew : The closer to death you are the more alive you feel

someguyyouknew's page activity

Visits<b>dash99</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 1:29pm<b>getcrazy</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 11:34pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 2:09pm<b>ijayp</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 2:23pm<b>LilTiki559</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 12:22pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 1:10pm<b>tailyerd</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 11:28am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 2:34am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 2:25am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 12:57am<b>CVTTRVN</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 1:46pm<b>Rainhawk94</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 3:38pm

Fucked!<b>getcrazy</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 5:33am

someguyyouknew's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

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Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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someguyyouknew's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them and told them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed 'cause I haven't gotten laid. FML

by bella / 12/07/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

by Asshole hornet / 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, l grounded my 17-year-old son from his computer because of his terrible attitude towards his homework. As payback, he convinced my 5-year-old daughter that if she goes to sleep, she'll never wake up. I now have a hysterical and sleepless child to deal with. FML

by PIGaming / 10/28/2013 at 1:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML

by CUCKOO / 10/26/2013 at 5:27pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been sleeping around. After telling my best friend, I also found out that he and a few others have known for the past month. He asked, shocked, "Dude, I thought you knew?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2013 at 7:55pm / United States / Love

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

by Dick the Greater / 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

by NOKHAN / 10/25/2013 at 1:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my little sister is having a friend spend the night. Our rooms are right next to one another and the walls are thin. We are now entering the fourth hour of a singing contest so off-key that it should be illegal. FML

by ThisIsAgony / 10/25/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, during parent/teacher conferences, my mom told my Chemistry teacher that I have an intense crush on him. There are still 7 months left in the school year. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 10:04am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals

Today, I realized how bad my OCD is when I accidentally got a paper cut and I was annoyed by the fact that the cut wasn't in a straight line. FML

by Teiu88 / 10/20/2013 at 10:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

by O-|---<=~ / 10/18/2013 at 7:01pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss gave me a verbal warning. My crime? Calling people "hon", "darlin'", and the like. I work at a Texas diner. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 5:36pm / United States (Texas) / Love