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somebodyknowsme
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Today, I was petsitting for my neighbor's new puppy. A huge thunderstorm came, and the puppy started whining and shivering violently. I pulled it into my lap to try and comfort it. One loud clap of thunder later, and the puppy had explosive diarrhea all over me. FML

#1026583
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78554) - you deserved it (7506)

On 04/16/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by Puppysit88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML

#965194
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79049) - you deserved it (7745)

On 04/14/2009 at 4:51am - kids - by poolboy (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML

#796639
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94092) - you deserved it (7447)

On 04/04/2009 at 4:50am - misc - by vetapplez (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother finally had her beloved Siamese cat cremated. The cat has been dead for over a week and she has been keeping it on her bed, stroking its fur and saying, "She looks like she's sleeping" and "She's so cold." To top it all off, she's been calling me by the cat's name for three years. FML

#293616
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81384) - you deserved it (3166)

On 03/12/2009 at 10:20pm - animals - by LJ (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML

#20313
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85465) - you deserved it (4498)

On 02/10/2009 at 10:08am - misc - by imalilangel05 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML

#1040
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20195) - you deserved it (2347)

On 01/13/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by Explicit - United States (Massachusetts)



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