Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

somebodyknowsme

Search for a member

somebodyknowsme

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 849
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

somebodyknowsme's page activity

Visits<b>elitemittens</b> - the 07/05/2012 at 4:41pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:05pm

somebodyknowsme's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of somebodyknowsme's badges

somebodyknowsme's favorite FMLs

Today, all the while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

#12624086
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37217) - you deserved it (3196)

On 08/19/2010 at 11:48am - misc - by feartheend511 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my best friend thought it would look cool if I recorded her swinging while lying under the swing. She ended up kicking me in the face and laughing so hard she pissed on me. FML

#12522582
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34146) - you deserved it (18546)

On 08/14/2010 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the foundation I've been using for the past month isn't normal foundation, its skin darkening foundation. I look like an oompa loompa from the neck up. It won't go away for another month. FML

#12518999
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9512) - you deserved it (31008)

On 08/14/2010 at 12:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders)

Today, my mom was taking an online IQ test. To the question "On which continent is Canada located?" she responded "Antarctica." If intelligence is genetic, I'm screwed. FML

#12438050
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30585) - you deserved it (3165)

On 08/10/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Brandon (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up to find a tick stuck to my eyelashes. The only way I know of to get it off is with fire. FML

#12431903
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30081) - you deserved it (6228)

On 08/10/2010 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that my anxiety disorder has escalated to where I now scratch and pick at my face while asleep. Now I get to sleep with oven mitts taped to my hands. FML

#7354954
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27262) - you deserved it (2592)

On 01/15/2010 at 7:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was running the drive-thru window at work, when a man pulled up with his dog in the seat next to him. As he was counting out his change, the dog leaned over his hand and drooled all over it. Not only did he pay exclusively in coins, those coins were slimy from dog drool. FML

#6780153
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22540) - you deserved it (2444)

On 12/16/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

#4958000
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85538) - you deserved it (5113)

On 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm - kids - by beya (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spotted my neighbour's cat sitting on their front garden. I bent over and began walking towards it with my hand out saying, "Hello pussycat". I was only a few feet away when I realised I was talking to a white bag of sand. I turned to see my family in hysterics. FML

#4806587
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11891) - you deserved it (35834)

On 08/25/2009 at 7:40am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my friend put a bunch of cheetos all over me at the beach while I was taking a nap. Next thing I know I'm being woken up by a bunch of seagulls attacking me. One pooped in my hair. FML

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94436) - you deserved it (19962)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was in the grocery store buying a few things. A sales associate came over the intercom system saying, "Attention Safeway customers. If you drive a blue Subaru, it's rolling into 18th Ave." Everyone laughed except me. I forgot to set the brake. FML

#1582380
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17484) - you deserved it (43218)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a maxi-pad on my butt. FML

#1082247
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98289) - you deserved it (5606)

On 04/18/2009 at 10:24am - health - by Ian (man) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: