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Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24434) - you deserved it (1982)
On 08/20/2010 at 2:40pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, all the while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31286) - you deserved it (2372)
On 08/19/2010 at 11:48am - misc - by feartheend511 - United States (Maryland)
Today, my best friend thought it would look cool if I recorded her swinging while lying under the swing. She ended up kicking me in the face and laughing so hard she pissed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28556) - you deserved it (14113)
On 08/14/2010 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out that the foundation I've been using for the past month isn't normal foundation, its skin darkening foundation. I look like an oompa loompa from the neck up. It won't go away for another month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7607) - you deserved it (22178)
On 08/14/2010 at 12:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders)
Today, my mom was taking an online IQ test. To the question "On which continent is Canada located?" she responded "Antarctica." If intelligence is genetic, I'm screwed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25173) - you deserved it (2330)
On 08/10/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Brandon (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I woke up to find a tick stuck to my eyelashes. The only way I know of to get it off is with fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24711) - you deserved it (4783)
On 08/10/2010 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I found out that my anxiety disorder has escalated to where I now scratch and pick at my face while asleep. Now I get to sleep with oven mitts taped to my hands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22018) - you deserved it (1887)
On 01/15/2010 at 7:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was running the drive-thru window at work, when a man pulled up with his dog in the seat next to him. As he was counting out his change, the dog leaned over his hand and drooled all over it. Not only did he pay exclusively in coins, those coins were slimy from dog drool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18124) - you deserved it (2093)
On 12/16/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26884) - you deserved it (3065)
On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74200) - you deserved it (3632)
On 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm - kids - by beya (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I spotted my neighbour's cat sitting on their front garden. I bent over and began walking towards it with my hand out saying, "Hello pussycat". I was only a few feet away when I realised I was talking to a white bag of sand. I turned to see my family in hysterics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9336) - you deserved it (26996)
On 08/25/2009 at 7:40am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)
Today, my friend put a bunch of cheetos all over me at the beach while I was taking a nap. Next thing I know I'm being woken up by a bunch of seagulls attacking me. One pooped in my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36409) - you deserved it (3344)
On 07/16/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by kewlcat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (81118) - you deserved it (15202)
On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was in the grocery store buying a few things. A sales associate came over the intercom system saying, "Attention Safeway customers. If you drive a blue Subaru, it's rolling into 18th Ave." Everyone laughed except me. I forgot to set the brake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14644) - you deserved it (32759)
On 05/03/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64606) - you deserved it (3419)
On 04/20/2009 at 1:55pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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