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somebodyknowsme

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  • Number of visits : 925
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>elitemittens</b> - the 07/05/2012 at 4:41pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:05pm

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somebodyknowsme's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

#15804993
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39113) - you deserved it (6359)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got attacked by my own dog. I don't know what will be harder, telling everyone how my dog thought I was a robber or explaining to them why a 25 year old man owns a poodle. FML

#15766373
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22376) - you deserved it (15012)

On 04/13/2011 at 3:05am - animals - by Username -

Today, at 21 years old, I am still so flat chested that I can't even fit into training bras meant for 12 year olds. FML

#15679727
588 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49686) - you deserved it (5281)

On 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by nerdsgetmehot (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

#15645354
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31139) - you deserved it (6062)

On 04/05/2011 at 12:04am - kids - by Bailey (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML

#15616538
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19343) - you deserved it (53290)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML

#15607773
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28850) - you deserved it (4657)

On 04/02/2011 at 5:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

#15598918
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33488) - you deserved it (45144)

On 04/02/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Toothy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was out enjoying my daily jog, when out of nowhere, a group of kids in a passing car pelted me with ketchup-filled water balloons. FML

#15589666
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40717) - you deserved it (3877)

On 04/01/2011 at 2:16pm - misc - by Natalie - United States (Texas)

Today, my family came back from holiday to discover that my little sister had messed with the cat flap before we left. Several stray cats were able to come in, but were unable to get out, and left shit in various areas around the house. FML

#15500028
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27502) - you deserved it (3790)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:27pm - animals - by cathouse (woman) - United Kingdom (North Down)

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

#15366508
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29692) - you deserved it (5868)

On 03/18/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by nosleeptilpissoff (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML

#15364776
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32907) - you deserved it (9726)

On 03/18/2011 at 7:28am - misc - by karmavictim -

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

#15345509
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31973) - you deserved it (4777)

On 03/17/2011 at 12:04am - kids - by Username -

Today, I thought I'd take my little sister to the park. After getting bored of playing on the climbers, she thought it would be funny to throw some mud at me; too bad mud wasn’t the only chunky brown stuff on the ground. FML

#15341897
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28865) - you deserved it (3498)

On 03/16/2011 at 8:50pm - kids - by Abeille (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

#15339337
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41827) - you deserved it (11219)

On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -

Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML



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