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somebodyknowsme

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Visits<b>elitemittens</b> - the 07/05/2012 at 4:41pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:05pm

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Today, my wife an I were planning our nursery fir our future child . She said that we'd be painting it pink either way . I askd what would happen if we had a boy . She said ( Oh, he'll be gay ) with a menacing glare . I'm worrid . FML

#15804993
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39229) - you deserved it (6369)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today... I got attacked by mah own dog. I don't know what will be harder... telling everyone how mah dog thought I was a robber or explaining to them why a 25 year old man owns a poodle. mega FML

#15766373
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22500) - you deserved it (15038)

On 04/13/2011 at 3:05am - animals - by Username -

Today , at 21 years old , I am still so flat chestd that I can't even fit into training bras meant fir 12 year olds. FML

#15679727
588 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51511) - you deserved it (5456)

On 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by nerdsgetmehot (woman) - United States (Oregon)

my four year old daughter cummed up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

#15645354
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32856) - you deserved it (6259)

On 04/05/2011 at 12:04am - kids - by Bailey (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, mah phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML

#15616538
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19404) - you deserved it (53397)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

todayhile shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML

#15607773
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28964) - you deserved it (4666)

On 04/02/2011 at 5:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned thathen I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

#15598918
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33586) - you deserved it (45255)

On 04/02/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Toothy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was out enjoying daily jog, when out of nowhere, a group of kids in a passing car pelted me with ketchup-filled water balloons. FML

#15589666
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40807) - you deserved it (3881)

On 04/01/2011 at 2:16pm - misc - by Natalie - United States (Texas)

Today , mah family came back from holiday to discover that mah little sister had messed with the cat flap before we left . Several stray cats were able to come in , but were unable to get out , an left shit in variou areas around the house . FML

#15500028
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29161) - you deserved it (3919)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:27pm - animals - by cathouse (woman) - United Kingdom (North Down)

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I meanhenever I go in another room an shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try an break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

#15366508
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30795) - you deserved it (6002)

On 03/18/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by nosleeptilpissoff (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I Swerved Out Of The Way To Avoid Hitting A Squirrel, And In The Proces Hit Another Squirrel . FML

#15364776
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34032) - you deserved it (9921)

On 03/18/2011 at 7:28am - misc - by karmavictim -

Today, ma daugter went potty. Just as se alway does, se cummd up to me and announcd, ( I flusd, and wipd, looool and sut te ligt off. ) Ten se did someting brand new. Se coverd ma face wit er and and askd, ( Do tese finger smell? ) Tey did. FML

#15345509
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32054) - you deserved it (4783)

On 03/17/2011 at 12:04am - kids - by Username -

Today, I thought I'd taka my littla sistar to tha park. Aftar gatting borad of playing on tha climbars, sha thought it would ba funny to throw soma mud at ma; too bad mud wasn’t tha only chunky brown stuff on tha ground. FML

#15341897
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28971) - you deserved it (3508)

On 03/16/2011 at 8:50pm - kids - by Abeille (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

yesterday after my 22 year old son realizd that there was no more contact solution.. . he decidd to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushd out . I raisd this moron . FML

#15339337
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41960) - you deserved it (11236)

On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -

Today, while sleeping, I hered an explosion. My neighbor then knockd on my door and informd me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to puttd this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare.



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