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somebodyknowsme

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Visits<b>elitemittens</b> - the 07/05/2012 at 4:41pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:05pm

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Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML

#19214388
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20959) - you deserved it (3675)

On 03/04/2012 at 2:36pm - health - by breebree-0 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML

#19189371
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30923) - you deserved it (7703)

On 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Crying - United States (Michigan)

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34935) - you deserved it (5309)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

#19076647
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23754) - you deserved it (2457)

On 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm - kids - by ShylaMarie - Canada

Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML

#18995010
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22941) - you deserved it (2696)

On 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by wetdreams - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML

#18781684
527 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29991) - you deserved it (53378)

On 01/12/2012 at 12:36am - love - by Nate (man) - United States

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85057) - you deserved it (13051)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

#16157104
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24354) - you deserved it (7749)

On 05/13/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by toothpastecat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML

#16129508
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45545) - you deserved it (15615)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

#16103696
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32422) - you deserved it (2956)

On 05/09/2011 at 11:02am - misc - by scarlet (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, Chocolate and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML

#16054918
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11075) - you deserved it (42659)

On 05/05/2011 at 9:47am - health - by gymgirl (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, Chocolate and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML

#16054918
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11075) - you deserved it (42659)

On 05/05/2011 at 9:47am - health - by gymgirl (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32034) - you deserved it (6766)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40457) - you deserved it (5581)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49111) - you deserved it (8010)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States



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