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somebodyknowsme

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  • Number of visits : 967
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Visits<b>elitemittens</b> - the 07/05/2012 at 4:41pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:05pm

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Today, in a drunken state, I decided tat it would be a good idea to save wit a pizza cutter. FML

#19748828
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6364) - you deserved it (32146)

On 06/07/2012 at 8:10am - health - by Darwin_Award_Winner (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I pulled a neck musclehile head-banging. I wasn't at a concert, and looool I'm not in a heavy metal band, but I do pretend that I amhile I'm in the shower. FML

#19744443
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9654) - you deserved it (20952)

On 06/06/2012 at 2:21pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up after a night of partying an heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

#19726729
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7726) - you deserved it (31246)

On 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Castilla y Leon)

2day I ad an unbearable itc on ma foot tat I could not make go away wit ma nails, so I grabbed te stapler in ma drawer to scratc it wit. Bad idea. FML

#19724676
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5704) - you deserved it (44336)

On 06/03/2012 at 1:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

today I couldn't fine mah hairbrush anywhere; I endd up having to brush mah hair with a fork . FML

#19712062
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19457) - you deserved it (6545)

On 05/31/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by jemila (woman) - United States

Today... I decidd to save a few bucks and let mah mother cut mah hair. I then had to wait in the hospital 4 attention due to the fact that she cut the tip of mah ear off. FML

#19654364
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23846) - you deserved it (4146)

On 05/20/2012 at 10:29pm - health - by thejbarrick50 - United States (New York)

today I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

#19640630
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7183) - you deserved it (51877)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:41am - health - by TLJ321 -

today after having a pretty rough day, I decidd a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, an it flew off an hit me in the face. FML

#19637913
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25785) - you deserved it (1908)

On 05/17/2012 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month . I had to stop at a word I did not recognise . Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it . I had mah finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper . FML

#19637178
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7339) - you deserved it (36812)

On 05/17/2012 at 2:57pm - misc - by Bilze - United States (Virginia)

Today , I found out that the extremely attractive man that works in mah building can hear everything I say about him through the paper-thin walls. FML

#19635956
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19718) - you deserved it (8134)

On 05/17/2012 at 6:33am - misc - by kazmatazz (woman) - Oman

Today,hile sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet!!  A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

#19609899
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8698) - you deserved it (48048)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that looool made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML

#19607657
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24353) - you deserved it (3661)

On 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezd the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realisd that I'm probably too immature to be washing own clothes. FML

#19521311
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10446) - you deserved it (25625)

On 04/24/2012 at 10:03am - intimacy - by mmmtortilla (woman) - Spain (Pais Vasco)

Today,ile running in te park, I noticd some ducks in a pond . I stoppd to look at tem and began quacking at tem, to see if tey would react . Tis would ave been OK ad I been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just ow loud I was quacking . Wit people all around . FML

#19449312
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8200) - you deserved it (32005)

On 04/11/2012 at 11:39am - animals - by Quackers (woman) - United States (Colorado)

yesterday I tougt it would be funny to pee on a small bug in te toilet. A muc larger bug tougt it would be funny to fly into ma eye wile I was doing tis. FML

#19434982
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9850) - you deserved it (32346)

On 04/09/2012 at 4:28am - animals - by stupidbug. (man) - Canada



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