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somebodyknowsme

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  • Number of visits : 881
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Visits<b>elitemittens</b> - the 07/05/2012 at 4:41pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:05pm

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somebodyknowsme's favorite FMLs

Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML

#19748828
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5881) - you deserved it (31318)

On 06/07/2012 at 8:10am - health - by Darwin_Award_Winner (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I pulled a neck muscle while head-banging. I wasn't at a concert, and I'm not in a heavy metal band, but I do pretend that I am while I'm in the shower. FML

#19744443
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9265) - you deserved it (20158)

On 06/06/2012 at 2:21pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

#19726729
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7184) - you deserved it (29711)

On 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Castilla y Leon)

Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML

#19724676
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5242) - you deserved it (42471)

On 06/03/2012 at 1:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I couldn't find my hairbrush anywhere; I ended up having to brush my hair with a fork. FML

#19712062
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19290) - you deserved it (6519)

On 05/31/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by jemila (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to save a few bucks and let my mother cut my hair. I then had to wait in the hospital for attention due to the fact that she cut the tip of my ear off. FML

#19654364
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23729) - you deserved it (4129)

On 05/20/2012 at 10:29pm - health - by thejbarrick50 - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

#19640630
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7139) - you deserved it (51572)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:41am - health - by TLJ321 -

Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML

#19637913
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24336) - you deserved it (1792)

On 05/17/2012 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML

#19637178
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6841) - you deserved it (35235)

On 05/17/2012 at 2:57pm - misc - by Bilze - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that the extremely attractive man that works in my building can hear everything I say about him through the paper-thin walls. FML

#19635956
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18369) - you deserved it (7813)

On 05/17/2012 at 6:33am - misc - by kazmatazz (woman) - Oman

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet.  A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

#19609899
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8544) - you deserved it (47612)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML

#19607657
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24191) - you deserved it (3643)

On 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

#19521311
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9605) - you deserved it (23986)

On 04/24/2012 at 10:03am - intimacy - by mmmtortilla (woman) - Spain (Pais Vasco)

Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML

#19449312
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7586) - you deserved it (31895)

On 04/11/2012 at 11:39am - animals - by Quackers (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

#19434982
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9814) - you deserved it (32180)

On 04/09/2012 at 4:28am - animals - by stupidbug. (man) - Canada



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