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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I decided to save a few bucks and let my mother cut my hair. I then had to wait in the hospital for attention due to the fact that she cut the tip of my ear off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6282) - you deserved it (870)
On 05/20/2012 at 10:29pm - health - by thejbarrick50 - United States (New York)
Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1498) - you deserved it (12251)
On 05/18/2012 at 3:41am - health - by TLJ321 -
Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6481) - you deserved it (513)
On 05/17/2012 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1561) - you deserved it (8457)
On 05/17/2012 at 2:57pm - misc - by Bilze - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that the extremely attractive man that works in my building can hear everything I say about him through the paper-thin walls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4814) - you deserved it (2222)
On 05/17/2012 at 6:33am - misc - by kazmatazz (woman) - Oman
Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1812) - you deserved it (11472)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6327) - you deserved it (863)
On 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1877) - you deserved it (4587)
On 04/24/2012 at 10:03am - intimacy - by mmmtortilla (woman) - Spain (Pais Vasco)
Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1879) - you deserved it (8198)
On 04/11/2012 at 11:39am - animals - by Quackers (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2500) - you deserved it (7602)
On 04/09/2012 at 4:28am - animals - by stupidbug. (man) - Canada
Today, I took a pregnancy test. I waited the longest two minutes of my life just to realize I missed the stick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2153) - you deserved it (5842)
On 04/05/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by darkestbarbie - United States (Georgia)
Today, my wife and I went to our friend's house to play some pool. While playing, a Cicada started to fly towards my face, so I flipped my pool stick over and swatted at it with the fat end of the stick. I hit the bug. However, with the skinny side I hit myself in the snow-globes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2226) - you deserved it (4720)
On 04/04/2012 at 10:50pm - misc - by Chris (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3604) - you deserved it (5701)
On 04/03/2012 at 2:19pm - kids - by potatoebee - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3885) - you deserved it (20405)
On 04/03/2012 at 1:13am - misc - by Wannabees (woman) - Canada
Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5966) - you deserved it (640)
On 03/30/2012 at 3:45am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
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