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somebodyknowsme
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  • Number of visits : 793
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML

#19893089
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17099) - you deserved it (1879)

On 07/05/2012 at 12:01am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband and I went to the store. Because we have no car, we had to walk four miles in the 115 fahrenheit weather. It didn't click until we were standing outside the door with a metric shit-tonne of ice-cream, that we'd have to tear ass back home to keep it all from melting. FML

#19876028
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5550) - you deserved it (22600)

On 07/01/2012 at 1:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

#19870178
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17651) - you deserved it (2146)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:10am - misc - by audreyav - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML

#19862258
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18122) - you deserved it (3179)

On 06/28/2012 at 7:44pm - misc - by zombieguyswife (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

#19848753
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5570) - you deserved it (43170)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, and for the last week, I've resorted to driving myself to the nearest corner store to take my daily dump. I'm doing this because I recently moved in with my boyfriend, and I'm afraid he'll be disgusted at how often I clog the toilet. FML

#19822934
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9993) - you deserved it (22708)

On 06/21/2012 at 6:02am - health - by TheDumper (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went bra shopping with my mother. She insisted that I try on a bunch of push-up bras, and I told her I didn't want to, because it's false advertising. She looked at me and said that I need all the help I can get. FML

#19800158
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21783) - you deserved it (3830)

On 06/17/2012 at 3:11am - misc - by historyfreak_17 - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35091) - you deserved it (3816)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9394) - you deserved it (17623)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, I tried to go to the gym, but I ended up watching cat videos on YouTube for three hours. FML

#19791305
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7754) - you deserved it (24714)

On 06/15/2012 at 7:27am - health - by latino14 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my wife and two teenage daughters' periods are all one week after the other. I am living in hell almost every single day. FML

#19786572
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28528) - you deserved it (3519)

On 06/14/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by anonymous - China (Jiangsu)

Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML

#19780908
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18602) - you deserved it (593)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:08am - misc - by pandora (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I learned that instead of training my cat, she has been training me. She now refuses to drink anything but running tap water, and yowls loudly early in the morning at my bedroom door to be fed. FML

#19773709
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12783) - you deserved it (6441)

On 06/11/2012 at 10:40pm - animals - by Anon127 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML

#19769783
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7488) - you deserved it (38293)

On 06/11/2012 at 8:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

#19753089
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23231) - you deserved it (7775)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:35am - misc - by ugh - Canada (Ontario)



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