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solarstar1

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solarstar1

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solarstar1's favorite FMLs

Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML

#18069219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27512) - you deserved it (1863)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:30am - work - by fire1 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML

#17743433
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7085) - you deserved it (46029)

On 09/14/2011 at 10:27am - health - by Fattymuch (woman) - India (Karnataka)

Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML

#17671695
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24978) - you deserved it (9242)

On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I learned what it felt like to get shot in the nuts by an airsoft gun. Thank you, Mom. FML

#17634185
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29005) - you deserved it (4246)

On 09/01/2011 at 6:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was helping some friends put supplies in my crush's car for our picnic. His girlfriend cracked a joke about me, so I just sarcastically laughed and slammed the door shut. Now she has three broken fingers, and I have a reputation as a psychopath. FML

#17522033
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27821) - you deserved it (8282)

On 08/19/2011 at 6:47pm - misc - by friendly_neighbourhood_psycho (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32950) - you deserved it (2846)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I zoned out in a coffee shop for about two minutes and was brought back to reality when a woman smacked me out of my seat. Apparently I was staring at her chest while zoned out. FML

#17436721
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27932) - you deserved it (6498)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

#17396996
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23293) - you deserved it (2909)

On 08/07/2011 at 1:14pm - kids - by SheaLili - United States (California)

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

#17365411
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13842) - you deserved it (56756)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:41am - kids - by makeitstop (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37498) - you deserved it (9704)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

#17283152
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29469) - you deserved it (15393)

On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37257) - you deserved it (3285)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130705) - you deserved it (7328)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35022) - you deserved it (4843)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35022) - you deserved it (4843)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)



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