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solarstar1

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solarstar1

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  • Number of visits : 222
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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solarstar1's FML badges

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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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solarstar1's favorite FMLs

Today, due to my boyfriend teasing me about me possibly having been conceived on a beach because I was born in Hawaii, I finally asked my mom if I really was. She said no, but then told me in detail how much sex on a beach hurts when you get sand up your ass. FML

#19991998
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24336) - you deserved it (5710)

On 07/30/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by skyplaysguitar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML

#19982373
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34373) - you deserved it (1864)

On 07/24/2012 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

#19939596
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34105) - you deserved it (39520)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States

Today, I came home from a knee surgery. I asked my mother to get me a glass of water. She replied, "You can get it, you're not crippled. Oh wait, yeah you are" and laughed hysterically. FML

#19848525
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25588) - you deserved it (2603)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by crippy - United States

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

#19747486
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23875) - you deserved it (4467)

On 06/07/2012 at 12:02am - intimacy - by C0r1nn3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in a training class, I got to see a picture of what can happen when a man does not wear a safety harness correctly. For those of you who are unaware, male body parts are easily severed by loose straps. I cannot un-see that picture. It wasn't even a harness safety class. FML

#19635115
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17963) - you deserved it (1722)

On 05/16/2012 at 11:53pm - misc - by recmonty - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML

#19631611
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22189) - you deserved it (9106)

On 05/16/2012 at 10:19am - love - by Coykoi - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I discovered that my three-year-old daughter has mastered the art of pickpocketing. While I was driving to work this morning, my car broke down. I reached in my pocket to call AAA on my cell, only to find her squirt gun in its place. FML

#19612373
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19772) - you deserved it (2375)

On 05/12/2012 at 4:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got tasered by a cop. It was his second day on the job. My crime? Sneezing during a sobriety test. FML

#19576269
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28043) - you deserved it (2086)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

Today, I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML

#19400848
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7223) - you deserved it (25110)

On 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm - health - by spougeineye1 - United States (Washington)

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

#19357429
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28894) - you deserved it (23178)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I witnessed my husband swat a coffee bean over and over again, all the while mistaking it for a fly. I then figured he probably has a lower IQ than I do, which wouldn't be so bad if mine wasn't a few points away from minor retardation. FML

#19340403
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20236) - you deserved it (5501)

On 03/24/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by sheilob (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

#19282725
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7722) - you deserved it (32766)

On 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by StinkyandStupid - United States

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

#19268925
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23379) - you deserved it (7963)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Wow (woman) - United States (Texas)



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