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solarstar1

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solarstar1

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  • Number of visits : 247
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solarstar1's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML

#20062588
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13362) - you deserved it (28812)

On 09/08/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by sasquatch (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

#20058701
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18909) - you deserved it (1395)

On 09/05/2012 at 10:06am - health - by needtoscratch (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19363) - you deserved it (47060)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33776) - you deserved it (10489)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took my puppy for a walk around town. I had to stop and explain to several people that yes, his head was purple because my little sister wanted to make him look like a Na'vi from Avatar. FML

#20041954
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18107) - you deserved it (2124)

On 08/26/2012 at 12:18am - misc - by AmyLeigh - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

#20037487
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9312) - you deserved it (25137)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a hard time taking a dump. Before flushing, I noticed two pennies and a dime incrusted in my turd. It seems that yesterday, while drunk, I swallowed some change. FML

Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML

#20035872
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9554) - you deserved it (26901)

On 08/22/2012 at 4:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

#20028986
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48201) - you deserved it (3432)

On 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by sal (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

#20027548
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38020) - you deserved it (2205)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

#20008307
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27938) - you deserved it (5779)

On 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by ohai95 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML

#20006198
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8043) - you deserved it (30024)

On 08/06/2012 at 6:08pm - misc - by :$ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

#20003323
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28724) - you deserved it (6012)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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