softpaws

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Offline (the 11/23/2016 at 7:56am)

softpaws

30Fucked!

softpawssoftpaws
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 May 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2896
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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softpaws's page activity

Visits<b>allentecsontan</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 1:04am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 1:25am<b>Mons</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 5:36pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 4:50pm<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 1:07am<b>caidenjohnson</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 6:45pm<b>DrafteeSelf</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 4:39pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 6:35am<b>batman169</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 10:49pm<b>nMasty</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 8:10am<b>sheeshadevil</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 8:29pm<b>AnAngryyGiraffe</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 1:09am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 10:19am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 1:14am<b>badmandilon</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 8:45am<b>Taymoo1515</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 11:00am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 9:30am<b>gigistar15</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 10:34pm

Fucked!<b>batman169</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 5:26am<b>nMasty</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 2:10pm<b>Taymoo1515</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 3:54pm<b>ladyofdeath13</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 10:40am<b>joco4</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 12:13pm<b>gmkerere</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 10:10pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 4:51am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 1:20am<b>orios105</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 1:13pm<b>getoffmyscreen</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 6:40pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 10:02pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 5:12pm<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 8:08am<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 9:41pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 7:10pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 5:56pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 3:47pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 2:50pm

softpaws's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of softpaws's badges

softpaws's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML

by annonymous / 09/19/2012 at 2:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML

by GMD / 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Health

Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML

by Mrs. Teacher / 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML

by wtf yourself, cunt / 09/17/2012 at 7:14pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

by Derp McShitstain / 09/16/2012 at 3:48pm / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Health

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

by -___- / 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Kids

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

by PissOffPottermore / 09/13/2012 at 10:31am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 5:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 5:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had just bought a new $60 basketball and decided to go try it out. Five minutes into playing, the ball decided to roll into the hands of a little girl, who then said, "Mine". I thought it was cute, until she skipped over to her parent's car and they drove off. FML

by Bitchjackedmyball / 09/12/2012 at 4:52am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

by AGeeksWife / 09/12/2012 at 3:03am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dentist dropped my bite plate for x-rays on the ground, picked it up, looked at it intently, took a couple of hairs off, and shoved it back into my mouth. FML

by ledentist / 09/11/2012 at 10:24pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, my thirteen-year-old daughter tried to scratch the freckles off of her face. We ended up going to the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2012 at 12:47am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

by kevcng / 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm / United States / Work