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softpaws

Offline (the 06/12/2015 at 9:15am) | Search for a member

softpaws

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 876
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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softpaws's page activity

Visits<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 9:17pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 4:39am

softpaws's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of softpaws's badges

softpaws's favorite FMLs

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23980) - you deserved it (3902)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML

#20069063
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34970) - you deserved it (3997)

On 09/12/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML

#20069063
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34970) - you deserved it (3997)

On 09/12/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had just bought a new $60 basketball and decided to go try it out. Five minutes into playing, the ball decided to roll into the hands of a little girl, who then said, "Mine". I thought it was cute, until she skipped over to her parent's car and they drove off. FML

#20068584
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31230) - you deserved it (5115)

On 09/12/2012 at 4:52am - kids - by Bitchjackedmyball - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25567) - you deserved it (3823)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47329) - you deserved it (4104)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dentist dropped my bite plate for x-rays on the ground, picked it up, looked at it intently, took a couple of hairs off, and shoved it back into my mouth. FML

#20068205
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24272) - you deserved it (1891)

On 09/11/2012 at 10:24pm - health - by ledentist - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my thirteen-year-old daughter tried to scratch the freckles off of her face. We ended up going to the hospital. FML

#20067114
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24209) - you deserved it (2407)

On 09/11/2012 at 12:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

#20066447
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21499) - you deserved it (7393)

On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

#20066250
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18107) - you deserved it (70647)

On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. They jokingly asked me if I was only with him for his money. I didn't hear them properly so I just smiled and nodded. They now think I'm a gold digging bitch. FML

#20060240
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22990) - you deserved it (9369)

On 09/06/2012 at 8:46am - love - by Ashley - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

#20058507
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24864) - you deserved it (4837)

On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML

#20051346
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21850) - you deserved it (4343)

On 08/31/2012 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16247) - you deserved it (40451)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27734) - you deserved it (12823)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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