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softpaws's FML badges
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softpaws's favorite FMLs
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
by whatswrongwithit?:( / 09/30/2012 at 3:37pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Shortround / 09/30/2012 at 8:56am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by BabyG2222 / 09/29/2012 at 5:14am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by iNearlyHurled / 09/28/2012 at 4:24am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was so happy to be leaving the hospital after breaking my arm the night before. Just as I walked out of the doors, a huge ambulance team was running in at the same time and knocked me down full force. I now have a broken ankle. FML
by red_headforlife / 09/28/2012 at 1:34am / United States (Arizona) / Health
by strawberrywine22 / 09/27/2012 at 10:14pm / United States (California) / Love
by bacon lovers worst nightmare / 09/26/2012 at 2:57am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML
by PerpetuallyHappy / 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML
by N/A / 09/25/2012 at 12:13am / Canada (Alberta) / Health
by Fingkids / 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm / United States / Kids
by SadDad / 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by myself / 09/20/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML
by Judy / 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
by Shame / 09/19/2012 at 4:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by pussyface96 / 09/19/2012 at 5:27am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
- Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to marry me. 20 minutes later he said "never mind, I want to… Today, I just finished treating my cat for fleas and bombing my apartment and washing everything. I… Today, at the beginning of my shift, my resident thought it would be funny to soak my shoes, which…