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softpaws

Offline (the 03/28/2015 at 6:07am) | Search for a member

softpaws

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 679
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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softpaws's page activity

Visits<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 9:17pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 4:39am

softpaws's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of softpaws's badges

softpaws's favorite FMLs

Today, my parent gave me a sock an card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28012) - you deserved it (3436)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walkd in on my boyfriend an looool best friend making out. His explanation was that he was trying to stop her from having an allergic reaction to peanut butter. FML

#20118571
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26655) - you deserved it (1745)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I caught brother whacking off with looool expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

#20117813
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34827) - you deserved it (2678)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:10am - intimacy - by scarred_sibling - United States

Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment 4 her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room 4 hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML

#20117570
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25883) - you deserved it (9172)

On 10/15/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, While I Was Using Mah Computer, Mah Cat Ran Up To The Power Strip, Looked Me In The Eyes, And Hit The Power Switch, Turning Everything Off. She Does This Quite Often. FML

#20116072
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23428) - you deserved it (4285)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, ma boyfriend broke up wit me. He decidd tat te best time would be wile I was giving im a blowjob. He ten seemd confusd as to wy I didn't finis. FML

#20114701
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33697) - you deserved it (3186)

On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstars. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole u didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16213) - you deserved it (61205)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today , mah wedding ring went missing. Later , mah 3-year-old came to me crying , he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off , he peed on me. real FML

#20108644
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34295) - you deserved it (3556)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken fir my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school fir a dollar each. FML

#20103277
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13234) - you deserved it (30250)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today , after having bought mah daughter a complete set of new school clothes , she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them , or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

#20102964
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26818) - you deserved it (9339)

On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, I was invitd to mah boyfriend's house 4 dinner 4 the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showd mah appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it cuz when I lookd up everyone was staring. His dad mutterd, ( Slow the hell down. ) FML

#20102773
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12542) - you deserved it (24481)

On 10/05/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by OhMeGerd (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm an I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47896) - you deserved it (2004)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw on mah 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list . What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her . fat FML

#20102155
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31034) - you deserved it (3797)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

today I yet again had to explain to mah boyfriend that... yes... I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML

#20101252
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32440) - you deserved it (3798)

On 10/04/2012 at 11:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving brth to her frst litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35796) - you deserved it (4858)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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