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softpaws

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softpaws

1Fucked!

softpawssoftpaws
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 904
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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softpaws's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 8:33pm<b>Bleublancrouge</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 4:38pm<b>Devtyro</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 10:43pm<b>rainbowsandshit1</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 5:59pm<b>tmc8907</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 10:59pm<b>PurpleDarthVader</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 4:18pm<b>Wolfipoo</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 4:08pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:34pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 9:17pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 4:39am

Fucked!<b>Devtyro</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 8:27pm

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softpaws's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML

#20139261
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29284) - you deserved it (2826)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)

Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML

#20139053
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9963) - you deserved it (15482)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by IndianAngel96 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

#20139029
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24399) - you deserved it (3043)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML

#20131535
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33777) - you deserved it (2120)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States

Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML

#20130811
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28861) - you deserved it (2451)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:15am - kids - by BobsBabe2 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

#20129928
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31625) - you deserved it (10233)

On 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML

#20129288
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29828) - you deserved it (4720)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by bunintheoven (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML

#20128340
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28093) - you deserved it (5004)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30007) - you deserved it (4545)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

#20127667
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31203) - you deserved it (1697)

On 10/22/2012 at 12:07am - work - by Lunazel93 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

#20127252
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6634) - you deserved it (54278)

On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom hosted a high-school reunion. I had to prepare dessert, while my brother cooked dinner. Being the absolute dickhead that he is, he switched the sugar with salt. All the desserts I made tasted like shit, everyone left, and I got grounded for my supposed prank. FML

#20127118
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21150) - you deserved it (1931)

On 10/21/2012 at 7:00pm - misc - by HOPE YOU GET PEGGED (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML

#20125284
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22619) - you deserved it (4957)

On 10/20/2012 at 1:29pm - love - by nahalDZ - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML

#20125076
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11036) - you deserved it (35272)

On 10/20/2012 at 9:57am - intimacy - by MIND BLOWING - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while driving with my puppy in the passenger seat, he jumped out of the window. FML

#20124915
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20666) - you deserved it (26406)

On 10/20/2012 at 3:16am - animals - by puppylove - United States



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