Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

softpaws

Offline (the 02/02/2016 at 5:04am) | Search for a member

softpaws

28Fucked!

softpawssoftpaws
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1502
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

softpaws's page activity

Visits<b>lightning20</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:01pm<b>AnAngryyGiraffe</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 1:09am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 10:19am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 1:14am<b>badmandilon</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 8:45am<b>Taymoo1515</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 11:00am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 9:30am<b>kemosabe4201</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 7:11am<b>gigistar15</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 10:34pm<b>hansky</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 3:57pm<b>ladyofdeath13</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 4:39am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 10:51am<b>joco4</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 7:16am<b>gmkerere</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 4:10pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 3:45pm<b>fzckinq</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 3:23pm<b>Seashells77</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 12:06pm<b>Kendrah18</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 10:21pm

Fucked!<b>Taymoo1515</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 3:54pm<b>ladyofdeath13</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 10:40am<b>joco4</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 12:13pm<b>gmkerere</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 10:10pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 4:51am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 1:20am<b>orios105</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 1:13pm<b>getoffmyscreen</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 6:40pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 10:02pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 5:12pm<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 8:08am<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 9:41pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 7:10pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 5:56pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 3:47pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 2:50pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 1:59pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 1:11pm

softpaws's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of softpaws's badges

softpaws's favorite FMLs

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86693) - you deserved it (8949)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23153) - you deserved it (64222)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47949) - you deserved it (7208)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38879) - you deserved it (7167)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML

#20521518
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34918) - you deserved it (3745)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43097) - you deserved it (11411)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, while on my way to the movies, I stopped at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket asked for my purse, confiscated my candy, and then kicked me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML

#20510592
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49634) - you deserved it (8632)

On 02/17/2013 at 10:50am - love - by Cheyennereed - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

#20502782
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36075) - you deserved it (2664)

On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33133) - you deserved it (29172)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom started referring to me as "The Bitch". When I asked her why, she said that I have always been a bitch, but I was never old enough for her to actually call me a bitch. FML

#20501686
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29378) - you deserved it (7152)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:26pm - misc - by maggu (woman) - Denmark

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35088) - you deserved it (4726)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62418) - you deserved it (12029)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I pointed out to my boyfriend how Valentine's day, my birthday, and our one-year anniversary were all coming up in the next few weeks. He then promptly broke up with me. FML

#20497809
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37971) - you deserved it (8633)

On 02/08/2013 at 1:24am - love - by katelynm - United States

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27507) - you deserved it (5135)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML

#20493182
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73993) - you deserved it (4325)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: