softpaws

Search for a member

Offline (the 08/19/2016 at 9:29pm)

softpaws

30Fucked!

softpawssoftpaws
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 May 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2317
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

softpaws's page activity

Visits<b>allentecsontan</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 1:04am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 1:25am<b>Mons</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 5:36pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 4:50pm<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 1:07am<b>caidenjohnson</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 6:45pm<b>DrafteeSelf</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 4:39pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 6:35am<b>batman169</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 10:49pm<b>nMasty</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 8:10am<b>sheeshadevil</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 8:29pm<b>AnAngryyGiraffe</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 1:09am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 10:19am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 1:14am<b>badmandilon</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 8:45am<b>Taymoo1515</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 11:00am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 9:30am<b>gigistar15</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 10:34pm

Fucked!<b>batman169</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 5:26am<b>nMasty</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 2:10pm<b>Taymoo1515</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 3:54pm<b>ladyofdeath13</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 10:40am<b>joco4</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 12:13pm<b>gmkerere</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 10:10pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 4:51am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 1:20am<b>orios105</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 1:13pm<b>getoffmyscreen</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 6:40pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 10:02pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 5:12pm<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 8:08am<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 9:41pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 7:10pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 5:56pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 3:47pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 2:50pm

softpaws's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of softpaws's badges

softpaws's favorite FMLs

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 11:14am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on my way to the movies, I stopped at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket asked for my purse, confiscated my candy, and then kicked me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML

by Cheyennereed / 02/17/2013 at 10:50am / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

by Target / 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my mom started referring to me as "The Bitch". When I asked her why, she said that I have always been a bitch, but I was never old enough for her to actually call me a bitch. FML

by maggu / 02/10/2013 at 11:26pm / Denmark / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

by mydadsgonnakillme / 02/08/2013 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I pointed out to my boyfriend how Valentine's day, my birthday, and our one-year anniversary were all coming up in the next few weeks. He then promptly broke up with me. FML

by katelynm / 02/08/2013 at 1:24am / United States / Love

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm / United States (West Virginia) / Animals

Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML

by hamandegger / 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy