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softpaws

Offline (the 06/12/2015 at 9:15am) | Search for a member

softpaws

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 873
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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softpaws's page activity

Visits<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 9:17pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 4:39am

softpaws's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of softpaws's badges

softpaws's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my 6-year-old son to visit his grandmother, as the doctors say she only has days left to live. Minutes after we arrived, he leaned in close and told her that she's going to hell. FML

#21421237
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25783) - you deserved it (2903)

On 06/05/2015 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29418) - you deserved it (3952)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, some guy I passed in the street was so high out of his mind, he beat the crap out of me, thinking I was a piñata. FML

#21416582
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28685) - you deserved it (2394)

On 05/27/2015 at 10:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico

Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML

#21405064
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34358) - you deserved it (4506)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:13am - intimacy - by baby_trex_arms - United States (California)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45727) - you deserved it (7792)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57301) - you deserved it (66225)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32882) - you deserved it (113046)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML

#20581667
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64019) - you deserved it (3065)

On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, it was my wedding day. Three people showed up. My mom, my dad, and the priest. FML

#20574279
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62797) - you deserved it (4628)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:46am - love - by nobodylovesme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84309) - you deserved it (8723)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21887) - you deserved it (62148)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45467) - you deserved it (6885)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35674) - you deserved it (6803)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML

#20521518
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31464) - you deserved it (3475)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39421) - you deserved it (10398)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)



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