About sofakingmexican : Swag
About sofakingmexican : Swag
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sofakingmexican's favorite FMLs
Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML
by officeditz / 06/03/2015 at 9:59pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML
by roadie42 / 05/24/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm / India (Delhi) / Intimacy
Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML
by oooooops / 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/23/2015 at 9:58am / United States / Love
by oncehipjr / 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML
by Alisterine / 08/24/2014 at 1:31pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 6:14pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love
Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML
by FUCK YOU / 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/01/2014 at 6:38pm / United Kingdom / Work
by TCRII / 07/23/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, I collected a package from a handsome UPS guy. We exchanged smiles, and he even noticeably checked me out. I was feeling really confident for the first time in a while. Then I went inside and saw that I had two huge breastmilk spots on my chest. FML
by BBeffedmylife / 06/14/2014 at 10:18am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
by needanotherbed / 05/28/2014 at 10:21am / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Love
by not gay in AL / 05/11/2014 at 1:57pm / United States / Love
- Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours… Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and… Today, it was my boyfriend and my six-month anniversary. I've really fallen in love with him, and I…