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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27148) - you deserved it (4374)
On 09/07/2009 at 6:19pm - work - by CMANIA (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30062) - you deserved it (3637)
On 08/24/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36911) - you deserved it (3611)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by secretdeo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after my partner of two years broke up with me, I decided to have a heart to heart with my mother about it. Her advice was to clean the house. I asked how that would make me feel better. She said that she wasn't sure, but at least the house would be clean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19273) - you deserved it (2917)
On 08/22/2009 at 8:43pm - love - by Loveless (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I made the "Good luck, We'll miss you!" sign for my own going away party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39118) - you deserved it (3649)
On 08/14/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by loverpants (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10946) - you deserved it (25535)
On 08/14/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by whoneedsdumbcars (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39285) - you deserved it (2269)
On 08/04/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by andi0804 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33471) - you deserved it (6629)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm - work - by fedexed (man) - United States (California)
Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43610) - you deserved it (4390)
On 07/21/2009 at 1:45pm - love - by sexychica (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at the airport to catch a plane. It was very crowded at the gate and there was nowhere to sit except for a flat metal bench, so I sat on that. Turns out I was sitting on a luggage scale, so my weight was displayed for everybody to see. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13546) - you deserved it (31034)
On 07/21/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzle-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35464) - you deserved it (6608)
On 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by joe1234 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went with my sister to get our eyebrows waxed. I didn't think my eyebrows were that bad--and they weren't! When the guy waxed my eyebrows, he gestured my lips and said, "Moustache, too?" Mortified, I said, "No!" to which he replied, "Aw, someone no get kissy tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32544) - you deserved it (6467)
On 07/11/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by RR (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to my friend's house for the first time. As I was pulling up, I called him and asked him if I could use his bathroom. He told me to just go in the back and use it, so i did. As i'm sitting on the toilet, someone knocks on the door and asks me who I am. It wasn't my friend's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42717) - you deserved it (7941)
On 07/10/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by whitewater_al (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38722) - you deserved it (7916)
On 07/02/2009 at 3:22am - misc - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got an email from a guy to whom I sold my old phone to over eBay. Turns out I forgot to delete the nude photos of myself and my boyfriend that I had stored up. His email asked me for "any PIN numbers needed to use the phone, and oh by the way, nice tits." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6601) - you deserved it (51921)
On 07/01/2009 at 6:31am - intimacy - by paprikarulz (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
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