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soccerniko50

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soccerniko50

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 February 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1160
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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soccerniko50's page activity

Visits<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 3:38pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 2:43am<b>demi94</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 2:41pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 12:04pm<b>actuallyahippo</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 7:54pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 9:22am

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soccerniko50's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing hysterically, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45567) - you deserved it (7921)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

#21188385
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35955) - you deserved it (24307)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Respect101 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a guy called customer support, claiming his internet wasn't working. I asked for his customer details, and he gave his name as Mike Hunt. I recognized the old joke, called him an idiot, and hung up on him. It turned out that was his real name. I'm now on suspension. FML

#21060478
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24741) - you deserved it (30303)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41851) - you deserved it (8976)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48571) - you deserved it (15893)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

#21052943
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39965) - you deserved it (13367)

On 02/06/2014 at 11:48pm - intimacy - by cryface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while cleaning a carpet in my house, something in it sliced my foot. I couldn't find what it was, so I went to clean the wound. 10 minutes later, I sliced my foot again on the same thing. I still can't figure out what it was. FML

#21052729
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43367) - you deserved it (5140)

On 02/06/2014 at 8:32pm - health - by sashimi9999 - United States (California)

Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML

#21031072
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40436) - you deserved it (5613)

On 01/17/2014 at 6:28pm - health - by SqueakingRetard (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I was offered a job that pays far more than I expected, being a high school senior. My parents decided they aren't letting me take the job, saying I should enjoy my childhood. They're also not paying for my college, which is why I was looking for work in the first place. FML

#20960082
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47552) - you deserved it (2648)

On 11/16/2013 at 6:39pm - work - by Remy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my debate partner repeatedly said "You mad, bro?" to the opposing team in our college debate class. That debate was worth a considerable portion of our grade. FML

#20959913
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38598) - you deserved it (2465)

On 11/16/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by gonnafail (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML

#20958610
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48375) - you deserved it (2845)

On 11/15/2013 at 11:59am - misc - by Colby - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

#20952633
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35812) - you deserved it (3268)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by fuck you, bitchcake (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

#20948659
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42872) - you deserved it (3623)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Grandson - United States (California)

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

#20936891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38496) - you deserved it (2995)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Asshole hornet - United States (Massachusetts)



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