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soccerniko50

Offline (the 03/18/2015 at 5:02am) | Search for a member

soccerniko50

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1458
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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soccerniko50's page activity

Visits<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 3:38pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 2:43am<b>demi94</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 2:41pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 12:04pm<b>actuallyahippo</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 7:54pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 9:22am

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soccerniko50's favorite FMLs

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32551) - you deserved it (3035)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43353) - you deserved it (27722)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35110) - you deserved it (3329)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51905) - you deserved it (21210)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42272) - you deserved it (6147)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML

#21233096
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36073) - you deserved it (3099)

On 08/09/2014 at 4:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Malawi

Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML

#21233010
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37414) - you deserved it (2581)

On 08/09/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by I already have one, thanks (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML

#21232769
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23522) - you deserved it (36134)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm - work - by suspended (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40859) - you deserved it (13602)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, I finally felt ready for intimacy with my boyfriend, and I sent him a sexy picture of myself topless. He texted back, "Ewwwww." FML

#21232655
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44684) - you deserved it (6817)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML

#21232452
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36159) - you deserved it (5977)

On 08/08/2014 at 10:43am - misc - by freakedout (woman) - United States

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

#21232277
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48572) - you deserved it (4560)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:05am - intimacy - by pocketrocket90 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46299) - you deserved it (8338)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

#21188385
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37087) - you deserved it (25260)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Respect101 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a guy called customer support, claiming his internet wasn't working. I asked for his customer details, and he gave his name as Mike Hunt. I recognized the old joke, called him an idiot, and hung up on him. It turned out that was his real name. I'm now on suspension. FML

#21060478
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26740) - you deserved it (32903)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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